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grappph
3 614 M Embraced 5
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts91 Forum posts14 Forum upvotes40 Current upvotes40 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2026 Member sinceJune 15, 2025
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Parent dynamics - need clarity
Anxiety Support / by grappph
Last post
 July 16th
...See more this thing is tiring, im tired. at home, im tired and anxious. abroad, im tired and anxious. the entire time, my dad attempts to "help" me by scolding me whenever i try to get help, because he wants to be the only help i have. and what kind of help can he offer? by your fruits you shall know them, and from what i have seen, my dad is emotionally unavailable, gets defensive whenever anything implies he might be the problem, tells me my trauma didnt happen and isnt even that bad, tells me im being dramatic when im in genuine distress, and doesnt apologize for a lick of it. and he makes me think that every decision i take that he doesnt agree with is going to destroy and ruin my life. I didnt even tell him anything today. just that i had an appointment with someone (to set up an ADHD assessment) and he got really upset at the mere idea that I am not trusting him with stuff. rose his voice at me, telling me no one can help me better than he can because he's my parent. This is very disorienting, and i dont know what to do. I dont feel able to trust my own judgment. it is as if it doesnt matter if what he is saying is true or makes sense - he is "right" anyway, and i need to obey. (Im 19M)
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I feel disoriented and idk who I trust anymore
Anxiety Support / by grappph
Last post
 July 3rd
...See more What do you do when a loved one invalidates your own childhood experiences, discredits your doctor and therapist, tells you there's nothing wrong with you, and that all you need to do is get more sleep (you have insomnia), eat better (you eat fine), get some sun, and do things you like (you have major depression), and "the anxiety will leave quickly" (you got a severe score on the GAD7)? Maybe this is over-sharing but idk who else to tell right now. I need help. I can't call my therapist. Also, what do you do when you're dependent on that loved one (e.g., if they're your parent)? My parent spent at least 30 minutes straight raising his at me that I'm tarnishing my medical record by getting neuropsych testing for ADHD, for getting medication for depression and anxiety. That there's nothing wrong with me, and that I just need to sleep better, do more exercise, etc. I do need to do these things - my therapist and doctor have both suggested them - but every conversation I have with him about this leaves me feeling distrustful of my treatment team, and it's been very demoralizing. On top of that, when I earlier opened up about some ways I felt mistreated when I was younger, my experience was invalidated, diminished, and overwritten; he claimed to not remember anything I brought up, and later refused to apologize, doubling down. Both of these left me feeling immensely depressed and anxious and exhausted. I don't know what to do. I'm feeling a bit better today, but i don't know what's going on, or why I feel so disoriented about it all. I don't feel like anyone is trustworthy right now. Too many contradictory opinions. Any encouragement will be appreciated. — grappph
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Feeling sick, queasy, fatigued, restless, depressed
Anxiety Support / by grappph
Last post
 April 23rd
...See more Ive been at a 5 or 6 out of 10 this entire day. I couldn't do anything productive or complete any of my coursework for uni. I feel very critical of myself. The morning was terrible. Now—tonight—is also very bad. I can hardly get up sometimes. It feels impossible to do anything. I can't even draw. And I love drawing. I am scared, all the time, of falling short, of failing to live up to my potential, and that I'm almost always at risk of losing everything that matters to me if I don't perform perfectly. (And I never perform perfectly. I don't even perform "okay" most of the time, nowadays. I hate myself for it.) I'm terrified that I'm gonna fail, and that I'll ruin everything I have going for me, and that I will be nothing. That I AM nothing... 😢 I don't know what to do 🥺 I feel helpless... Any words of encouragement will be appreciated..
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Malaise and shame
General Support / by grappph
Last post
 April 17th
...See more This night was particularly hard on me. I feel so, so, so afraid of messing up my friendships, of not being a good enough friend, of not having ethical enough opinions, of not being good enough. I don't feel like I belong anywhere. I am so scared of feeling safe because I am worried of having it ripped away from me suddenly. So I torment myself. And I feel lonely and scared. all the time. So much stuff today just kinda fell on me at once. Ive been getting worse in the last month or so, and ive talked to my therapist about it. But I don't know what to do. I feel like crying, but I know I probably won't 😢 I don't know what is happening with me. I know I have depression. And anxiety. And they're both really bad right now. Like, objectively. But I don't know how to fix it. I can barely function in my classes. Its so much effort to eat, sleep, take care of myself. I'm very perfectionistic so this hurts all the more. I can't even be "functional," let alone perfect. 😔😣 Any words of comfort or advice will help.
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Dealing with anxiety
General Support / by grappph
Last post
 May 10th
...See more Since I was a little kid, I have sometimes felt this inexplicable, vague sense of dread or unease. A kind of hyper vigilance with no focus or target. Just a big red light going off in my body: "I am not safe right now." This still happens, often without a clear cause. Recently, it's returned. I'm wondering what the reasons might be, and if there are any techniques I can use to manage it, I'd appreciate any tips.
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