Parent dynamics - need clarity

this thing is tiring, im tired. at home, im tired and anxious. abroad, im tired and anxious. the entire time, my dad attempts to "help" me by scolding me whenever i try to get help, because he wants to be the only help i have. and what kind of help can he offer?

by your fruits you shall know them, and from what i have seen, my dad is emotionally unavailable, gets defensive whenever anything implies he might be the problem, tells me my trauma didnt happen and isnt even that bad, tells me im being dramatic when im in genuine distress, and doesnt apologize for a lick of it. and he makes me think that every decision i take that he doesnt agree with is going to destroy and ruin my life.

I didnt even tell him anything today. just that i had an appointment with someone (to set up an ADHD assessment) and he got really upset at the mere idea that I am not trusting him with stuff. rose his voice at me, telling me no one can help me better than he can because he's my parent.

This is very disorienting, and i dont know what to do. I dont feel able to trust my own judgment. it is as if it doesnt matter if what he is saying is true or makes sense - he is "right" anyway, and i need to obey. (Im 19M)