Feeling sick, queasy, fatigued, restless, depressed
Ive been at a 5 or 6 out of 10 this entire day. I couldn't do anything productive or complete any of my coursework for uni. I feel very critical of myself.
The morning was terrible. Now—tonight—is also very bad. I can hardly get up sometimes. It feels impossible to do anything. I can't even draw. And I love drawing.
I am scared, all the time, of falling short, of failing to live up to my potential, and that I'm almost always at risk of losing everything that matters to me if I don't perform perfectly. (And I never perform perfectly. I don't even perform "okay" most of the time, nowadays. I hate myself for it.)
I'm terrified that I'm gonna fail, and that I'll ruin everything I have going for me, and that I will be nothing. That I AM nothing... 😢
I don't know what to do 🥺 I feel helpless...
Any words of encouragement will be appreciated..
@grappph
I'm sorry that you are having such a bad day 💙
We can stress ourselves our worrying but all you can do is your best.
Breaking things down into small, manageable pieces, so that you feel more confident and see progress 🩷
@grappph
Hi,
When we are struggling, we often judge ourselves by what we think we should be doing (like coursework or drawing) rather than acknowledging the sheer amount of energy it’s taking just to exist through a hard day. You aren't 'nothing' because you had a non-productive day; you are a human being who is currently overwhelmed.
Please try to be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend who was feeling this way.
Sending you a lot of strength.
@grappph I´m sorry your day has been so hard to get by... You are already doing more than okay, you actually care about the things you do and your academic responsabilities. Not everyone has the same disposition... So don´t be too hard on yourself for those bad days that everyone has from time to time. I have slowly learned that on days that i realize are going to be "down" its actually better to just let myself have that little rest. Sound counterproductive, i know. But you waste more energy and get less done by trying to do 100% when you are tired and then torturing yourself for obviously not doing enough. Whereas if you just give yourself the permission to do the bare minimum that day, the next day you will likely feel more rested and prepared to do a bit more. Wish you the best!
I suppose that makes sense. Rest so often doesn't feel like rest for me. Just anxious inactivity.
Maybe it's the guilt/shame about rest thats causing it. I'll try to work on that. Thx for the advice 🙏
I sometimes feel like it can be so hard to get real rest these days. Especially with the guilt of resting. And sometimes we doomscroll or distract ourselves instead which may only add to guilt and also feeling more anxious and overstimulating. I am not sure if you struggle with this?
I hope you can find real rest and remember that rest is a part of progress. To make good progress we need to feel our best, and take care of ourselves. And part of taking care of ourselves is deep rest and doing things that nourish us.
Your body most likely needs some TLC. ♥️ Doing things you enjoy can relax your mind and body and give you a break from always being 'on' and anxious.
Maybe a hobby like reading, or even drawing like you mentioned. Setting up a timer can help, and allowing yourself the space and time to just be - without deadlines or worries. Trusting that you are good enough and safe, even when you take time out. Because you honestly are. Your worth is not in how productive you are. And you cannot earn worth, you are good enough just showing up, trying and being you.
We need rest and nourishment to function well and it is never an indication of failure. It seems like you may be burnt out and your body needs time to do nothing without anxiety. Real rest can look like long naps, breathing deeply, taking a walk in nature, doing something crafty, going to the movies with a friend, drawing and listening to music. ♥️
I hope you can give yourself a break, and be gentle on you. You are doing a lot. Take care of you* so you can do your best work that feels good from a nourished space, and not from a depleted anxious state. 🥺♥️
@grappph
I’m sorry today has been so hard. It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot, and that can wear anyone down. Please remember one rough day doesn’t define you or your future. You’re still capable, still worthy, and this too shall pass. Be kind to yourself tonight and take things one day at a time.
@grappph
Sometimes it's okay to not do anything. Sometimes anxiety and stress just prevent us from taking any kind of action - and it's okay. There are just going to be days that getting out of bed and getting something to eat will be an accomplishment.
You're doing your best. You're trying. That means everything.
I'm glad you love drawing, and I'm sorry that you were feeling so bad you couldn't draw. Maybe when times like that happen, instead of drawing, just Google drawing, or famous artists that draw - just see what other people are doing and look at some cool pictures and take your mind off things for a bit.