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imjustme1987
362 M Embraced 3
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2022 Member sinceFebruary 5, 2020
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He ended us out of nowhere
Relationship Stress / by imjustme1987
Last post
 June 6th, 2021
...See more I really don't know what to do or think or how to wrap my head around anything. I've been talking to this guy and we fought our feelings for a long time (he Is going through a divorce) but we couldn't fight them anymore. So we have been talking and things progressing but I've been very patient and understanding of the process he is in and how until everything is in writing official for his kids we aren't creating any waves bc his kids are #1 priority in this of course. Anyways it progressed mainly from him I've been following his lead on this progression. Well he started talking about once it final our future together how he wants to be with me how we are gonna make our households work together...how this work with his kids and my animals ... if I'm okay staying in this area til kids grown like we been really in the thick of discussing this I thought in a healthy way.... well this week was his first week away from his kids ever and on top of that he is starting a new job next week which he is stressed and overwhelmed with and I've been understanding about that I also have a new job starting this week that I'm completely in over my head witb bc im being forced into this position with no incentive and alot more on my plate and im extremely stressed.... well this week we got in a couple little tiff but I thought we were working through them bc we both so overwhelmed. .. we were good talking hugging loving each other when suffenlu he decided we have to be done ...he can't do this to me anymore ... this has to end I kept asking him to just tell me what happened he said it's bc of our little misunderstanding (thst we had already cleared up) and how he doesn't want thst to happen again he afraid I'm gonna hate him bc of new job etc and it has to be this way .... I was bawling and he just left me and drove away the next day we talked I realized mistakes I made and talked them out I thought we were okay again and then bam same thing and im like I don't understand please just help me understand what I did here ... he kept saying he didn't want this but it has to be like this .... and im like I promise u this isn't how this has to be...he told me Thursday he just needed time to process he would contact me Friday I asked him if he was just saying that so I would drop it he said no he truly meant it he promised he contact me ... so I let him go he never contacted me and I found out he blocked my number and everything. .... I dunno what going on ....I dunno how to cope bc im so confused and heartbroken and I've been heartbroken before but everything with him was different than ever before..... with him everything just felt like this was meant to be and then out of nowhere this.... help me
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Forum
Newbie Hub / by imjustme1987
Last post
 October 3rd, 2023
...See more I started a couple forums when i was in bad place and I don't want them up anymore is there a way to delete them? I hate seeing them? Thank you
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I dont know what my problem is
Eating Disorder Support / by imjustme1987
Last post
 December 19th, 2020
...See more I'm starting to get tired of the relationship I have with food. I don't fit any eating disorder entirely that I have researched so I dunno if I even belong here but I don't know where else to turn this has been happening most my life but its getting worse and worse every year. I have such anxiety around food. alot of the time if I do eat too much or allow myself bad food I start beating up on myself... there are times few and far between but still it happens that I will end up purging (which I then beat myself up about that) or there are times this leads to more than one day of bad eating which just sends me on a super depressive spiral. ..on other hand many days I will go all day into the evening without eating.If I give in to my growling stomach I feel somehow like a failure. If I do eat im trying to figure out if I've eaten so much im gonna get fatter. There are times I can just eat and allow myself and let it go and other times like today my mother is talking about me coming for dinner and im crying alone bc im so stressed that she is gonna have added butter etc to the food and im gonna stay fat forever. I had knee surgery so I havent worked out in a month which isn't helping my mental health at all but this has been going on for years. There are times when asked what want for dinner it will send me into full blown anxiety attack. I dunno what to do and I don't fall into any disorder that I have found.
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How do I fix this?
Relationship Stress / by imjustme1987
Last post
 July 27th, 2020
...See more so I have this coworker and over the last year and a half that we have been partners we have gotten very close and become pretty much best friends. We talk about everything we have so many deep connections its crazy. Back story on me quickly I was in a horrible fairly abusive relationship for four years that finally ended this year & ive beem growing & healing since but I thibk I do have some cptsd from that& I also have anxiety in general anyways so I have felt for awhile now that maybe our friendship was started to go past that of just friends but neither of us act on it bc we work together etc etc and of course we have such an amazing friendship but also I could be reading that wrong i dunno well yesterday we were talking about relaxing and being nice he walks over starts to rub my shoulders again we are insanel6 close no reasom that should have been weird well for some reason as soon as he started that I straight up freaked out said you have stop that and bolted ....then I awkwardly walked around room cleaning for like 20 min and everything between us was awkward i could tell he was embarrassed and confused and he kept apologizing i kept telling him nothing be sorry for but I couldn't look at him& he was like why are you running arounf room cleabing etc ....i dunno i suddenly feel like im in jr high this seems so dumb but is so awkward between us after that and im not even sure why I reacted that way what can I do to fix this so it not awkward & he doesnt feel ba
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What is wrong with me
Relationship Stress / by imjustme1987
Last post
 February 26th, 2020
...See more My boyfriend and I broke up and I am heartbroken but I dont think he is. I'm trying to move forward be then there are moments where it literally consumes me. So in one of those moments I went on a text app and sent him.messages as someone else . What is wrong with me? I regretted it almost instantly. I'm pretty sure he knows it was me and told his friends and now I'm humiliated. I am sitting here now like why would I even think that was a good or okay idea that was so stupid.... what is wrong with me? How do I come back from this humiliation?
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Not sure what I keep doing wrong
Relationship Stress / by imjustme1987
Last post
 February 5th, 2020
...See more Somehow I keep ending up in long term emotionally damaging relationships.... after each one I've thought never again and thought I was being so careful but yet here we are again.... I'm sure I'm the problem....I dunno how this keeps happening... I dunno how to move forward... I want a real relationship but I'm starting to think this is all I'll ever get ..... my self esteem is so shattered... my confidence doesnt exist....i dont trust anything anyone says to me anymore....clearly I'm doing something wrong but I'm not sure what.....not sure where to go from here....also not sure how to move on which makes me feel like an idiot bc it should he easy to move on from someone treating u terribly but yet I cant ....
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