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intelligentSummer6305
1 352 M Embraced 3
PathStep 13 Compassion hearts27 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2025 Member sinceJune 27, 2025
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Leveling down
Depression Support / by intelligentSummer6305
Last post
 July 24th, 2025
...See more Feel like i'm leveling down like every step that I make to try better myself is a step down an unending staircase i went from a vehicle owner to not having one at all a homeowner to renting in a place I feel no connection a business owner to barely working i lost my dad and a grandma to death and a best friend to a narcissistic relationship I see my home being torn apart piece by piece and it hurt so much knowing that I'm the reason it's gone I invited the crack in the foundation that took down my home and feel like I can't move from the rubble that came down around me I lost family I lost friends and I lost the will to get back up but I'm somehow still breathing i can't tell if I'm conscious or if I've gone under i feel as though I need to cry or scream or yell but no tears fall no noise comes out I'm feeling past broken like how to make new glas the old has to be broken then crushed then melted so the can make a new but more fragile piece
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A person in a small room
Depression Support / by intelligentSummer6305
Last post
 July 12th, 2025
...See more I have always felt like person in large room food on my table a roof over my head hobbies paid for and family I could talk to about anything but lately my depression is getting bad and even though I still have food a roof hobbies and a family that loves me I feel like I have stayed the same but the room I'm in shrunk over time it has gotten smaller and smaller and the air gets lighter making it harder to breathe I talked to my Dr she gave me a white oval pill and I finally felt like the room was growing again I was wrong shrink I move into a comfortable place so it doesn't seem so small shrink I smile and shake it off it will get better soon the room will one day grow SHRINK I'm knocked down this time the room coming around me closer I'm feeling claustrophobic as the walls inch in more and more every time a slight inconvenience happens but as I'm in this small room I smile to make sure everyone around me is ok I feel like I'm playing a game of operation but instead of being the player navigating through the pieces and parts I'm the one being poked and prodded I have seconds when I think of something that makes me smile then I'm reminded when the room shrinks again part of me wondering if the room keeps shrinking and I disappear who will make sure everyone is OK the other part wanting the release of pressure SHRINK SHRINK SHRINK a person in a small room
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Grief of what could have been
Relationship Stress / by intelligentSummer6305
Last post
 June 29th, 2025
...See more Last year I had a friend's family reach out to my family and they told me that he liked me but I've never been good at my family knowing my dating life and I didn't reply soon after I was talking to that friend and when he slipped in the are you seeing anyone question I said I was single but not really looking even though I was and had a slight crush on him I don't think he knew we spent a lot of time together and shared some interest then I started a new job and didn't see him as often and things cooled down and we didn't talk everyday or much at all well this weekend I'm attending his funeral he took his own life and in his letter says it's because nobody reciprocated his feelings so now I'm not only grieving the loss of a friend but asking what could have been if my anxiety would have let me tell him the truth
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30 flirty and the never ending anxiety of dating
Relationship Stress / by intelligentSummer6305
Last post
 June 27th, 2025
...See more I recently turned 30 and I've never been in a relationship at first I didn't want it then I made myself stay busy not allowing myself to now I want to find that kind of love but I get in my own way a lot and I have chatted on dating apps and have matched with a few great people but I can never get past the apps and they stop talking or I get to nervous and ghost them I talked to a guy for 3 weeks and we hit it off went on a 2 dates then life happened and he didn't like I was busy so we stopped talking and then I matched with another and he's very patient and suffers from some of the same mental health issues I do but I still can't bring myself to meet him in person why is dating hard ???
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