Grief of what could have been

Last year I had a friend's family reach out to my family and they told me that he liked me but I've never been good at my family knowing my dating life and I didn't reply soon after I was talking to that friend and when he slipped in the are you seeing anyone question I said I was single but not really looking even though I was and had a slight crush on him I don't think he knew we spent a lot of time together and shared some interest then I started a new job and didn't see him as often and things cooled down and we didn't talk everyday or much at all well this weekend I'm attending his funeral he took his own life and in his letter says it's because nobody reciprocated his feelings so now I'm not only grieving the loss of a friend but asking what could have been if my anxiety would have let me tell him the truth