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qtaruinket
1 880 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts129 Forum posts44 Forum upvotes96 Current upvotes96 Age GroupTeen Last activeNovember, 2026 Member sinceMarch 1, 2026
Bio

little old me

Recent forum posts
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im tired
Depression Support / by qtaruinket
Last post
 2 hours ago
...See more i just want to give up already why am i so exhausted when i havent done anything
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just stuck no matter where i go
Depression Support / by qtaruinket
Last post
 Friday
...See more i dont know how to start but ive just been totally stuck with this like hopelessness its not sad? its not angry its just numb in a way like something whispering in my ear nothing matters no matter what i do. i recently enrolled in school after years and its even harder than online or not attending school at all..had to go counselling and tested for *** and going home early and of course lots of crying. So whichever way i turn to online schooling, actual schooling, or no schooling at all ill always feel empty. i dont have friends irl because im just really anxious all the time i dont know how to act i feel tensed up all the time. of course i have my online group of people like my girlfriend and friends to stay at least a bit sane but its still hard i dont know why everything feels so hard no matter what i do. i dont even like the people in my school or my country..everyone is so snakey, says slurs they arent allowed to say, rude to me, sends really weird *** in group chats.. like um okay im not okay with any of this but im not up to start saying that to their face so they torment me even more irl while im already a loner. i just wanna graduate..figure my *** out and meet up with my girlfriend at some point if it gets to that. everyones struggling and i find a bit of peace in that like its not me alone that doesnt have my stuff together. i have like 3 projects that are worth alot of points that ive procrastinated for a long time i have little time left but i have no idea what to do..i dont know why im posting this because in my mind im gonna stay stuck in this spot no matter what like life is a jail in itself..but yea i just wanted to express something i guess idk if someone will reply to this. sometimes i think i wouldnt be like this if the world wasnt set up as it is now
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how do i help myself?(please read)
Anxiety Support / by qtaruinket
Last post
 September 18th
...See more okay to start ive never been diagnosed with anything but all my life since i was a kid i used to say i ws "anti-social","shy" & "introverted" now all my mind lies on is social anxiety. this really showed up for me today because i had a bad day at school and ended up crying a lot. so many teachers came up to me to try to helo but i couldnt get my words out, i have no friends because im quiet and even when i do want to make a friend i cant get myself to get up and talk or introduce myself to them. afterwards my hearts racing. and forbid someone notices im quiet tears immediately stream down my face without a second thought. its not even like i really care but i cry every. single. time. without fail.."talk louder" tears. i feel weak and i used to be even worse before this and many people got angry with me. i was too nervous to say thank you when someone dropped me off and ended up leaving without saying anything, i wouldnt say thank you to anyone in general. because i was too nervous, i didnt know what to do when cashing in stuff. i now know and do those things with a bit more ease. but i still cant get rid of this part of me in school. i transfered alot..no friends. quiet. and peers and teachers all find me rude because of my quiet demeanor i feel like its ruining my life because the truth is it really is. i yearn for friends outside my phone, to have a "real" life but i always crumble at the slightest critical comment and crawl back to my device for comfort, im tired of crying. and i wish i was different but no matter how much i try i cant get past the school stage. im crying right now writing this..i just want help and it wont work with practice i feel like the only thing that could help me is medication. i dont know how itd work or if but im in emotional pain every day because of this stupid thing..i dont even know what to call it. my family tells me nothing might be wrong with me but it doesnt feel that way and im really hurting. theres even nice people i wanna befriend but i cant..
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I dont know what to do!
Depression Support / by qtaruinket
Last post
 September 14th
...See more This is a stupid post but my partner is gonna be away for an unknown amount of time and i feel like nothing i mean i usually do without distractions but they were my sigh idk i dont wanna be negative but you can guess what my mind is steering towards
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do i wanna enter this part of my life again
Eating Disorder Support / by qtaruinket
Last post
 August 16th
...See more maybe.
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life is kinda pointless for me
Depression Support / by qtaruinket
Last post
 August 14th
...See more i dont know how to explain this feeling but i cant cry or feel any specific emotion towards it but ive.lost worth or meaning in my life ofc i can maintain my usual personality and not become bitter because of this lack of care i think i felt it heavier than ever when my father sent us to our moms i think i felt a strong sense of being okay with d*ing and i was meant to engage in my unhealthy habits but i kind of felt this peace or no feeling at all? at nothingness, i didnt do anything. just carried on with whatever took me. i cant do that to my partner..d*ing? no. my family? yeah. do i wanna do it..yeah. i cant lie i am feeling a shift in my faith because of how much my religion says or the people say ill go to an eternal pit of fire for loving the same gender.ive in a way? lost all hope.i wont live long..sometimes im not afraid of ***. ill burn forever..whats worse? im tired. and i havent told my partner either ive tried but i kept avoiding it in a way.i still wanna bleh.
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losing faith
The Church Cares / by qtaruinket
Last post
 August 3rd
...See more im a christian cis girl dating an athiest genderfluid person..theyre my partner. so often i see people condemning and hating on lgbtq+ and ik for a fact i would never come out to my family. but when i see all this hate and disgust for people like us and seeing lines like "hate the sin not the sinner" makes my heart physically hurt. all you ever learn is homophobia. my country had a gay pride parade and the comments were just filled with hate i saw only one or two supporting comments and just thinking..if God doesnt accept me and im going to ***..i kinda dont wanna fight it. i catch myself saying "so what if i go to *** for all eternity i can do with the pain." sometimes im ok with it because its basically guaranteed my partner will go to h*** for not believing.theyre an amazing person. but if i went to heaven id forget all about them, my life is just ***.i think about going back to my self destructive habits alot. i barely pray and open my Bible. sometimes if i think about people hating my sexuality i just imagine me e*ding it and making it known it was because of homophobia to make everyone feel horrible. if i cant love who i love honestly why live.
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