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qtaruinket
1 699 M Little Steps
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts115 Forum posts38 Forum upvotes84 Current upvotes84 Age GroupTeen Last activeAugust, 2026 Member sinceMarch 1, 2026
Bio

little old me

Recent forum posts
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do i wanna enter this part of my life again
Eating Disorder Support / by qtaruinket
Last post
 3 days ago
...See more maybe.
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life is kinda pointless for me
Depression Support / by qtaruinket
Last post
 Friday
...See more i dont know how to explain this feeling but i cant cry or feel any specific emotion towards it but ive.lost worth or meaning in my life ofc i can maintain my usual personality and not become bitter because of this lack of care i think i felt it heavier than ever when my father sent us to our moms i think i felt a strong sense of being okay with d*ing and i was meant to engage in my unhealthy habits but i kind of felt this peace or no feeling at all? at nothingness, i didnt do anything. just carried on with whatever took me. i cant do that to my partner..d*ing? no. my family? yeah. do i wanna do it..yeah. i cant lie i am feeling a shift in my faith because of how much my religion says or the people say ill go to an eternal pit of fire for loving the same gender.ive in a way? lost all hope.i wont live long..sometimes im not afraid of ***. ill burn forever..whats worse? im tired. and i havent told my partner either ive tried but i kept avoiding it in a way.i still wanna bleh.
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losing faith
The Church Cares / by qtaruinket
Last post
 August 3rd
...See more im a christian cis girl dating an athiest genderfluid person..theyre my partner. so often i see people condemning and hating on lgbtq+ and ik for a fact i would never come out to my family. but when i see all this hate and disgust for people like us and seeing lines like "hate the sin not the sinner" makes my heart physically hurt. all you ever learn is homophobia. my country had a gay pride parade and the comments were just filled with hate i saw only one or two supporting comments and just thinking..if God doesnt accept me and im going to ***..i kinda dont wanna fight it. i catch myself saying "so what if i go to *** for all eternity i can do with the pain." sometimes im ok with it because its basically guaranteed my partner will go to h*** for not believing.theyre an amazing person. but if i went to heaven id forget all about them, my life is just ***.i think about going back to my self destructive habits alot. i barely pray and open my Bible. sometimes if i think about people hating my sexuality i just imagine me e*ding it and making it known it was because of homophobia to make everyone feel horrible. if i cant love who i love honestly why live.
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disgusting past
Depression Support / by qtaruinket
Last post
 August 4th
...See more when i was a child ive no idea if this was before or after my sexual assault but at the age of 9 i did some things disgusting that ill always regret and i find it just horrible but i did sexual stuff with my pets. my sexual ???? i dont know. rose so high around that time i went insane with trying everything.sometimes i catch myself having those thoughts and get sick all over again..id never hurt any animal like that again.
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i dont know what to do.
The Church Cares / by qtaruinket
Last post
 July 25th
...See more im a christian girl. or god fearing more like. recently i got into a well uh a online..lesbian relationship.it [http://relationship.it] hurts so say that but i love my girlfriend so much. shes athiest..im christian. ive spoken and remained open about my religioin with her and shes done the same but i dont know if this is conviction or fear and guilt from what i grew up around. my father tried to "pray" the gayness out of me once and before i dated my girlfriend i guess i thought i was straight i was never really interested in anyone because i never knew anyone to like in the first place. i know i love her but these thoughts keep coming to my mind.."she liked you first what if youre just liking her because she liked you, like you did when you were younger?" "what if this is wrong and you waste your time and end up hurting her" "what if this is a sin." "will i go to ***" "whats my future like" "what if my family finds out" "is this wrong will we even last?" i never thought id be in a position like this and ive stressed to my girlfriend about this but im always thinking. maybe some things make me feel better about it but i was watching this video where so much people were against it and felt like crying again. im so afraid. i feel even a bit afraid to open my bible and speak to God. because im afraid of losing her. but athiest and christian..? im afraid it wont work. and our identities.. ive only trouble with now being "lesbian" while she is kind of secure. i know what i dont want to hear but i cant i wouldnt end it off because..of i dont know i dont i dont know sometimes i feel my faith dwindle.
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my mind(wlw Online rls christian)
Religion & Spirituality / by qtaruinket
Last post
 July 8th
...See more i wrote a thread some time ago about a girl and how i felt about them.well now theyre my partner..and i am really happy. but now here comes the trouble..hiding it from my christian and most likely homophobic family. my siblings are very pushy and easy to firgure out stuff too they can just open my phone when im not looking ans find out ffs. my brother already caught me sleeping on call once and my sister is noticing me flinch when she comes near as i have my gfs chat open..uhm. so i didnt really feel conviction after i got with my gf. . also its kind of hard doing online. i dont know how long ill be able to hide it..and i feel like my 10 yr old selfbdating girls online and theres somerhing that sickens me about it and sometimes i feel like i lost love for her cause i feel guilty or scared or weird about ournrelationship but i do oove her so much im scared of her hyrting me. shes athiest and im christian but she literally asked me to talk about my religion with her.. i just i cant i love her so much. i havr a chance at someone really sweet to me i wanna take it. but i also dont wanna break up or anything..i think we are moving kinda..fast. i wanna take it slower atleast i should tell her that i think. i dont even know whats fast or whats slow atp..someone help?
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am i gay?
Religion & Spirituality / by qtaruinket
Last post
 June 12th
...See more this person i know is pulling me in theyre so nice i care and love them but i dont know if its wrong im gonna cry man theyre genderfluid but biologically theyre a girl. will i go to *** for this? i dont want to and i really do love God i always did even before i met this person i dont know what to do please someone help me ive never actually thought id be in a situation like this they told me i love you so much today and i genuinely melted.please please i know deep down i dont want it to be wrong but it might just be. im literally going to cry.ive asked God and i know he wont answer immediately but hes shown me his works. i know hes real and i want an answer..sometimes i hate love
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am i gay..
The Church Cares / by qtaruinket
Last post
 July 7th
...See more i dont..wanna be gay? yk growing up in a christian household is always..homophobic. im not that. im straight. i had my experiences with lesbian relationships n stuff and i never felt any of that strongly since then but recently ive been being pulled towards someone.theyre genderfluid.but biologically theyre a girl..its not like anything sinful about them is pulling me in like theyre a teenager just like i am but theyre so..i dont know im just being pulled in by it all they told me i love you so much today and my heart genuinely felt so good. i dont know if this is wrong? we grow up learning that its a sin..and deep down in my heart i dont want it to be because i think i genuinely love them this isnt a lust thing. ive beem atrracted to guys too i dont know why this is happening and will i like go to *** for it? ive been asking God for guidance and i know he wont answer when i want him to exactly but he will show me i have faith. but if its not the answer im really hoping for..what do i do next? theres alot of bias on this topic but im just so stressed about it i never thought id be in a situation like this.i question..would God send me to *** for loving another soul and human he created? they say your body dies but your soul doesnt..so doesnt the soul matter more i dont know i really dont but this is really stressing me out what is even going on. please help me im genuinely gonna crashout.
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