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sociableCamp9383
1 432 M Embraced 3
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts44 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2026 Member sinceMay 17, 2025
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Emotionally hungover
Trauma Support / by sociableCamp9383
Last post
 May 1st
...See more That's the only way I can describe waking up aftr my 4evr 16 yr old sons 19th bday.....I only cried 1x yesterday when I rode the greyhound 2 my hometown 2 meet my sister & go 2 the cemetery that's where I lost while never out of my mind Gavins suicide didn't encompass my mind instead I chose 2 honor his life & all the great memories we shared.... Then I woke up 2day & all the feelsies I thought I'd have yesterday came floodn in & I cried & cried & cried it was like a purgn of all the guilt shame longing ???s & everything I've felt over the last 2 yrs....I've nvr felt more lost & alone in my xistenz I lost my best friend & pops within 4 months of each other about a yr aftr I lost my son.....last thing pops said besides I love u the last time we spoke was "never 4get u had the honor & privilege 2 b Gavins dad 4 16 yrs" safe travels
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Win
Grief & Loss / by sociableCamp9383
Last post
 May 1st
...See more * I survived my 4ever 16 yr old sons 19th bday....its over I honored him as best I could with his 3 fav meals......I did have a diff vibe @ the cemetery than I normally do & I broke down 4ca buit I knew I would.....I just miss him but do my best 2 remember the happy but intrusive thoughts r intrusive thoughts I can dismiss them as soon as I can but they still have an initial impact that I have 2 deal with no matr how fast im able 2 dismiss em....tbh each birthday has been different cuz im @ a diff place I think is the most logical answer....& This birthday I turned in2 the fuxn boogeyman 2 months ago.....I went those 2 months with nothn but negative self talk & ⁰confusion in my brainal space & it was miserable.....I've got a buddy whose took their own life like Gavin did he said "Albert u still deserve a shot @ life bro if u want 2 u can let this break u & no1 would look down on u but if u use ur angst & hurt the right way ppl will look up 2 u"
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Sad day
Trauma Support / by sociableCamp9383
Last post
 April 30th
...See more We have a family recipe 4 a dish cald sherry beef....my dad has made it 4 my son & I on r birthdays.....it would b Gavins 19th birthday 2day instead he's 4ever 16....I didn't get sherry beef on my birthday this yr 4 the 1st time in my adult life cuz I lost pops 6/22/25.....I lost Gavin 9/18/23.....some of my best memories revolve around r birthdays cuz they're so close 2 each other.....I cald my sister & talkd with her she offered 2 give the recipe a whirl & there's a big batch of sherry beef in her crockpot....9 months ago b4 she disconnected from r sociopathic mother that was in even in the realm of possibility....she's all I have left r sister od'd 4 yrs ago
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My sons birthday
Trauma Support / by sociableCamp9383
Last post
 April 28th
...See more Hi my name is Albert my 16 yr old son took his own life 9/18/2023.....his bday is on the 29th of this month & I have absolutely no idea how I'm gonna survive it tbh.....this has been by far the most fuxd up thing 2 hapn in my life & its destroyed my family but hes just the 2nd in 4 deaths my lil sis od'd 8/9/2021 then Gavin my son then the bestest friend I've ever had had a heart attack 2/2/2024 then I lost pops 6/22/2025....my wrrld shrunk & became very lonely dark & scary.....some days if all I do is survive I consider myself lucky....but I always try 2 remember what pops told me the last time I saw him is that I had the honor & privilege of bein Gavins dad 4 16 yrs.....that's what I hold on 2...."u nvr know how strong u r til strongs all u got left"-Bob Marley that quote has helped tremendously.....safe travels
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My boy
Grief & Loss / by sociableCamp9383
Last post
 April 15th
...See more My 16 yr old son took his own life 9/18/2023 & my head still implodes & my reality folds in on itself 10 seconds aftr I open my eyes when I wake up ...I just can't believe this is my reality....u could have told me a million stories about my son & ida believed every 1 of em but this 1 this 1 I woulda lafd in ur face yet here I am....my lil sis od'd 8/9/2022 then my son then my best friend of 15 yrs had a heart attack 2/2/2024 then pops the best pops I could asked 4 pasd 6/22/2025...my wrrld has become small dark cold & terrifying....this adjustment 2 this new drastically diff person has been difficult huge social extrovert 2 reclusive introvert....when pops & I spoke 4 the last time he said "always remember that u got the fuxn honor & privilege of bein Gavins dad 4 16 yrs nothn can change that" ill end this post with a quote that got me thru many drrk nights & fear "u nvr know how strong u r til strongs all u got left"-Bob Marley....safe travels
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