Win

I survived my 4ever 16 yr old sons 19th bday....its over I honored him as best I could with his 3 fav meals......I did have a diff vibe @ the cemetery than I normally do & I broke down 4ca buit I knew I would.....I just miss him but do my best 2 remember the happy but intrusive thoughts r intrusive thoughts I can dismiss them as soon as I can but they still have an initial impact that I have 2 deal with no matr how fast im able 2 dismiss em....tbh each birthday has been different cuz im @ a diff place I think is the most logical answer....& This birthday I turned in2 the fuxn boogeyman 2 months ago.....I went those 2 months with nothn but negative self talk & ⁰confusion in my brainal space & it was miserable.....I've got a buddy whose took their own life like Gavin did he said "Albert u still deserve a shot @ life bro if u want 2 u can let this break u & no1 would look down on u but if u use ur angst & hurt the right way ppl will look up 2 u"