Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Considering therapy? Talk to a licensed therapist, wherever you are. Get started
tiredbunny1
2 112 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts19 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2026 Member sinceSeptember 23, 2026
Bio
Recent forum posts
tiredbunny1 profile picture
Am I Alone in This? I love you more
Relationship Stress / by tiredbunny1
Last post
 14 hours ago
...See more Hi all. I don’t really know how to word this without sounding completely *** ridiculous, but I’m struggling. I’m currently stuck in that horrible place of wondering whether I love my partner more than he loves me. I hate even admitting that because I know he’s struggling and I know this isn’t necessarily about me. He’s been going through a really difficult time mentally, mostly because of an injury that kept him away from fitness for quite a while. Fitness is his passion. It’s such a massive part of who he is, and having that taken away from him really *** with him. He’s starting to get back into it now, which should be a good thing, but his moods are all over the place. I genuinely never know which version of him I’m going to come home to. Some days he’s there. Other days it feels like he’s a million miles away, even when he’s sitting right beside me. I’m constantly second-guessing myself. Did I say the wrong thing? Did I ask too many questions? Should I have left him alone? Should I have hugged him? Was I annoying him? Was I not supportive enough? Am I making this about myself? Should I just shut up and give him space? I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells trying to figure out how to love him in the way he needs, and sometimes I honestly feel like no matter what I do, I get it wrong. the part that hurts the most is when it feels like he would rather talk to literally anyone else than me. I love this man so *** much. stupidly, completely, overwhelmingly much. I would do anything for him. I’m constantly thinking about him, worrying about him, trying to make things easier for him, trying to understand him, trying to give him the space he needs, trying to be the person he can come home to. But who do I come home to? sometimes I feel so incredibly alone while being in a relationship, then the really horrible thoughts creep in. What if I’m another thing he has to deal with rather than someone who makes his life better? What if he’s slowly falling out of love with me and I’m just desperately trying to hold onto something that he’s already letting go of? I don’t know if those things are true. Rationally, I know they might not be. But when you’re beside someone who feels emotionally miles away from you, your brain doesn’t exactly strive for rational thoughts. I think he probably has quite an avoidant attachment style, and I’m trying to understand it. I’m trying to give him space. I’m trying not to chase him for reassurance. I’m trying not to make every withdrawal about me. I’m trying to understand that sometimes he needs to disappear into himself when he’s struggling. But I’m scared. I am scared that I’m giving him so much space that eventually there’s no space left for me in his life. I don’t know where the line is between loving someone through a difficult period and completely abandoning your own needs because they’re struggling. I don’t want to be another burden on him. I don’t want him to feel like he has to look after my feelings when he can barely look after his own. I’m exhausted from trying to be understanding while simultaneously feeling like my own heart is quietly breaking. Listen when it's good, it's so *** good. He's an angel, a sweet, kind, funny and driven soul who deserves nothing but love and luck and joy. I wouldn't exchange him for the world and will stand by him through every challenge. In short, I love, adore, and admire him. I just wish I knew that he still wanted me beside him while he works through all of this. Has anyone else been in the same situation? What did you do? TIA
tiredbunny1 profile picture
Happy? Birthday
Depression Support / by tiredbunny1
Last post
 September 25th
...See more I’m struggling to find the words for this, so I’m just going to write it as it is. I’m sitting in my car. Alone. On my birthday. At 1am. I’ve been clean for the better part of four years, but tonight, for the first time in a very long time, I just want a joint. I want that warm, numb, safe feeling it used to give me. The crying isn’t helping. Screaming into the car isn’t helping. I just want to feel okay for a little while. My partner is struggling with his own mental health at the moment, and I’ve been trying to be the person who can put my own feelings aside and be there for him. But if I’m being completely honest, I’m not doing very well either. His moods can be incredibly unpredictable. Sometimes it feels like he wants to talk to absolutely anyone except me, or be around anyone except me. When he’s struggling, his words can be brutal. I know he doesn’t necessarily mean them, and I know he is struggling, but knowing that doesn’t stop them from hurting. Today was my birthday. He wasn’t in a good mood, so I got a kiss, a “happy birthday”, and then he went straight back to his phone. He locked me out of the living room and started calling his friends. His intention was apparently to get himself into a better headspace so that when I came home from work tomorrow, he could actually be in a good mood for me. I understand the intention. I really do. But tonight I went into the bedroom, sat on the floor and read the birthday card my parents sent me. And somehow, sitting there alone on my bedroom floor on my birthday made me feel more alone than I have felt in a very long time. My phone is completely dry. No messages. No notifications. Nothing. And somehow everything still feels unbearably loud. I think I’ve become really good at letting everyone believe I have my *** together. At work, with friends, with family, wherever I am, I can put the mask on. I can be the person who listens. The person who helps. The person who keeps going. The person who has an answer. But lately it feels like I’m standing in a circus trying to keep a hundred plates spinning, and one by one they’re all crashing to the floor no matter how hard I try. And I’m starting to crumble with them. My relationship with food is getting bad again. I’m exhausted. I’m lonely. I’m carrying things I haven’t told anyone because I’m embarrassed. Because I feel like I should be able to handle it. Because I’m supposed to be the person who can handle things. I’ve spent so much time worrying about everyone else and trying to take care of everyone else that somewhere along the way I completely lost sight of myself. And I think the saddest part is that I let myself believe, just for once, that my birthday would be the day I got to feel special. Instead, I’m sitting in my car at 1am, crying, wanting to escape my own head, and wondering when I stopped feeling like I mattered too. I don’t really know what I’m asking for by posting this. Maybe I just needed somewhere to say it out loud. So thanks for listening
Search more from @tiredbunny1
Community updates
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
7 total badges
Hand Shake First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Newbie Forum Friend
Report an issue
Talk to a licensed therapist Wherever you are, whenever you need support. Get matched
Considering therapy? Talk to a licensed therapist, wherever you are. Get started