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Identify Unhealthy Relationships

Goal

To be able to evaluate how healthy or unhealthy your last relationship was

Identify Unhealthy Relationships

Identify Unhealthy RelationshipsMany individuals who have recently undergone a break up want to move on to another relationship quickly. However, ending a relationship is very difficult emotionally. No one is at their best when they have recently ended a romantic relationship. After going through a break up, people are vulnerable and may have their guard down when reentering the dating scene. This puts many people at risk of entering into a relationship too quickly or with an unhealthy person.

In some situations, a person may have just left an unhealthy relationship. If you have left an unhealthy romantic partner, you may be unfamiliar with what a healthy relationship looks like. Regardless of how good your previous relationship was, you should take time to educate yourself on what a healthy relationship looks like before getting back into the dating scene.

Evaluating Your Relationship Exercise

Instructions: The following chart shows you signs of an unhealthy relationship and compares that to a healthy relationship. Take a look and evaluate how your relationship lined up by answering the questions below.

Healthy Relationships Unhealthy Relationships
  1. You both respect each other
  2. You trust each other and give each other the benefit of the doubt
  3. You work together to decide how much time to spend together
  4. You can say “no” without feeling scared or anxious
  5. You can hear “no” without getting angry or losing control
  6. You both apologize to each other
  7. You can tell your partner how you are feeling
  8. You and your partner respected each other’s sexuality
  1. Your partner demands respect but does not respect the other
  2. You and your partner mistrust each other, and constantly accuse the other (even without any proof)
  3. You or your partner controls how much time you spend together, even when it interferes with other relationships or obligations
  4. You are afraid to say “no” to anything
  5. You get angry and frustrated whenever your partner says “no”
  6. You or your partner never says “sorry” or accepts responsibility
  7. You or your partner doesn’t want to hear how the other is feeling
  8. You or your partner forced or pressured the other to engage in sexual acts that were uncomfortable or unwanted

Which items (if any) from the “healthy relationships” column describe your past relationship?
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Which items (if any) from the “unhealthy relationships” column describe your past relationship?
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Tip: It can be hard to be objective about your own relationship. Show the above list to a trusted friend or family member and ask them for their opinion. Be proactive in identifying what a healthy relationship looks like, as well as how an unhealthy relationship looks like. It is much easier to start a relationship on the right foot than it is to try to change your partner after you are already in a relationship.

Next Step

In looking at this chart, you may realize that your previous relationship was abusive or harmful. If you are a victim of sexual assault and live in the United States, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

You may also find it helpful to talk to a licensed mental health professional about your experiences. If you are interested in these services, please visit our therapist directory to find a therapist near you or connect with a therapist online.

Identify Unhealthy Relationships

Which of the following represents an unhealthy relationship?

Which of the following represents a healthy relationship?

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