21 is my worst year
I just turned 21 in August, my mother was murdered and I feel more alone than ever. I live in a place with no family, I can’t seem to deepen my friendships here, I feel so alone. I had a shower today and started having suicidal thoughts, I’m scared. The only person that I know could comfort me right now is a friend guy I’m in love with that doesn’t love me back, so I can’t go to him for help because it would hurt me a lot more than I’m hurting right now. I’m considering getting professional help. I can’t think of anything else that would help me right now. I feel hopeless, I feel like life isn’t worth it, my life sucks and I don’t feel like living anymore.
@unaconlavida
Wow that is a lot to go through for anyone i am sorry for your loss.
I think you are a strong person as many would seek solace with a friend who does not reciprocate your feelings ... you knowing that is a bad move says you are smart / strong and although the world looks bad now ....you can survive. I hope for you to find peace and justice for what has happened to your mother.
@unaconlavida
That is so bad im so sorry you have to be going through this , dont think your life is over , you still have a future ahead of you. A bright one , and the guy friend you like isnt worth it , your worth more than any guy or person , i know it may be hard that someone murdered your mom, but try and move on , make new relationships with people , work on your career , try something new. And if you need any advice im here for you and for anyone thats dealing with something like you. Know that you are worth it , write a list of positive thought like for example : i am worth it , i will get through this, i am lucky to have this and that. Write down your thoughts and what your grateful for , think about the positive things and forget about the negative , trust me you are worth it , and if it makes you any better you can see a professional , i can also help , ill comfort you in any way , i hope this helps and just know you are worth it.
I will not be able to begin to understand the heartache and sadness that comes with losing a parent and i don’t feel it is my place to give advice on loss, but I also live in a place with no family and I have no strong relationships here. I work a job that does not have much social interaction and I’m looking to make a change, but I completely relate to being into someone but I don’t feel comfortable opening up about my suicidal thoughts/mental state. I will tell him a lot about my issues but I never want it to feel overwhelming to him or make it seem like I am “too much” since he has depression as well. There are so many beautiful things in life though and it is so worth trying to find new hobbies and things that make you feel accomplished. Even if you can’t get up that day watch a new movie, find little ways to reward yourself just for making it though the next few hours, find something that you love and channel some emotions into it. For me that’s writing but for you it might be getting in the gym (or a sauna/spa/pool to relax) and everyone deserves professional help no matter the finance situation, so check out what your local area will offer for free/reduced cost