Anyone going through a breakup?
Hey there :)
My partner broke up with me two weeks ago and I'm currently trying to come to terms with it.
Is anyone else going through a breakup at the moment?
@Ghosthost25
I'm currently going through the ups and downs of a breakup as well.
If you need some support, don't hesitate to reach out!
Hey Lisaisherenow, thank you for your message!
How are you dealing with the breakup?
My partner broke up with me 2 weeks ago and I'm finding it hard to let go of hope, which is probably holding me back.
@Ghosthost25
I'm taking it one day at a time. Trying to process each emotion and memory.
I've also reconnected with my support system.
Even so, it's still quite challenging to let go of the possibility/hope.
I'm trying to go through all the emotions and memories too as they come up and am reaching out to family and friends. That does help a lot. :)
How long ago is your breakup?
Have you taken up any new hobbies or picked up some old ones again?
I think I'm just quite impatient, I wish it would pass by much quicker and everytime I get a text from them (usually just something formal) my hopes immediatly rise again.
@Ghosthost25
The break-up happened less than two weeks ago and I've not taken up new hobbies but resumed old ones.
I hear and understand your impatience. I feel the same way in some regards but am trying to take everything in stride. No matter how hard and painful it is, now. I have to do it.
I keep reminding myself of that new romance that will come in the future, that new love, and that when it does come I cannot have unresolved feelings. I cannot give my new partner half-hearted investment and then lose that relationship because I was emotionally unavailable. (Which would be devastating)
Those cold, formal messages are part of the process. Don't let them give you hope where there is none.
Remember this; if she/he valued the relationship as much as you do, they would've stayed. They would've tried harder, put in more effort, and gone beyond their limits to resolve things. No problem is too great to solve. It genuinely isn't.
Thank you for your support and sharing how you are coping with things.
I shall try to take your views and coping mechanisms as an example! :)
@Ghosthost25
You're welcome and thank you for posting this.
It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in this.
Keep checking in, whenever you need to.
Perhaps we could post our progress monthly?
Thank you for replying to the post!
Yes, I feel the same way. :)
Thank you, same goes for you ofcourse, if you would feel the need to.
Sure, monthly progress posts sounds like a great idea!
@Ghosthost25
Hey there! I'm checking in!
There are no major updates on my end. I still find myself having moments where I miss him, times of day when I expect a call or text about his day/my day, and how much we miss each other. Memories come streaming back into my mind and I start tearing up.
Outside of that, I'm doing rather well, it's just the little things that seem harder to overcome.
Are you well though?
@Lisaisherenow
Thank you so much for checking in and your update!
I can really relate to those moments you mentioned where you expect a call or text from him about how your/his day went.... It's all these habits we've gotten used to in our every day lives that end so abruptly and it seems to take quite a while to get used to these changes or at least that's how I'm currently experiencing it. However, I'm glad to hear that you're doing well outside of that.
I'm not too bad, the past few weeks have been quite an emotional rollercoaster. My job and living situation are both unstabile at the moment and there have been times where I was just longing for his support and affection. He had texted every now and again which kept getting my hopes up everytime, so I asked him a few days ago to only text me about necessities at the moment or if he would change his mind... At the same time he has written a "goodbye" letter to my family, which made me feel very sad again. Yet I still find myseld looking at my phone, hoping I have received a missed call or text from him.
To keep my mind off the breakup/ creat new memories and routines I've started journaling, going for walks and the gym from time to time, joined a book discussion group and even went out one night. Honestly though I expected these things to work more effectivly...Mind you, going to a 80's party where almost all songs are about love (as are most songs I suppose) probably wasn't very helpful 😅 Uually I really want to reach out to him after these new experiences and then I'm shocked again at how much I miss him and how he seems to be so sure about leaving me...
Sorry for this long monologue...
Sending you lot's of courage, strength and patience to move past it and keep doing doing well! :)
@Ghosthost25
Hey Ghosthost 25!
Thank you for your wonderful update.
I'm always happy to listen to whatever you have to say and share there
is no need to apologize for the monologue.
It genuinely sounds like you're doing quite well, I'm so proud of your resilience and progress and am rooting for you!
My apologies for my infrequent responses, I've been juggling a lot workwise and have been experiencing added financial stress due to the break-up.
My May 2025 update is that things are moving slowly and I'm not the most patient person.
I've been keeping myself open to new experiences but am struggling with getting myself out of my comfort zone. I'm hopeful but also very cautious and suspicious.
There have been a few men who have expressed some serious interest in me but none of them meet my standards/requirements in a partner. A few men came close but each of them ended up somehow ruining their chances.
I hope to hear from you soon! Sending you lots of love, support, and strength as the seasons change!
Wishing you lots of smiles
Hey Lisaisherenow
Thank you so much for your support and kind message! There's something really special and empowering about knowing that there is a stranger out there, who has my back and is going through something similiar! :)
No worries, I'm always happy to hear from you, but in your own time of course. I hope you're enjoying your work and that the financial stress has decreased.
I'm glad to hear that you're open for new experiences, but that you're staying cautious at the same time, to me that seems like a healthy attitude.
Also really excited that you have quite a few men who would be interested, but I understand that especially after a breakup you want to pick your next partner wisely. Keeping my fingers crossed that the right guy will cross your path soon!
During the past few weeks I have finally gotten a new job and I will be able to move in a new apartment at the beginning of July.
I will move out of the shared flat I had with my ex... we saw each other last weekend after not being in contact for about a month. We ended up just talking for three hours, updating each other about our lifes as if we we're friends...it felt nice and painful at the same time. We agreed in Meeting again in three weeks time to split up our belongings in the flat that we still have together...i'm not looking forward to that
I thought about perhaps trying to date someone new, but I don't see that happening unless I join a dating app and I'm not sure if I'm the type for dating apps....
Also my ex is really happy for me that I got a new flat, he doesn't seem sad at all that I will leave, which doesn't really help with my self esteem issues 😄
Anyway, sending you lots of love, strength and support back, hoping that you're able to find some peace and that you have some kind people close by. :)
@Ghosthost25
Hey! Ghosthost25 It's great to hear from you again and I agree with the sentiment you shared. I feel comforted knowing that someone else out there relates to my situation. There's almost this sigh of relief whenever I receive a new message from you on this thread.
I'm excited to hear that you've found a NEW job and a NEW apartment!🤩
Everything is slowly falling into place and your ex seems to be giving you the space to grow, flourish, and excel, which is lovely.
Datings apps do seem daunting, I'm in the same boat and am conflicted on how to move forward with my own dating life. I typically like to focus all my energy and effort on one project, one person, or one thing at a time. You're not alone in any of your feelings when it pertains to this break-up. I'm feeling them too. I hope you remember that!
Witnessing your partner's indifference/happiness or even relief knowing you'll be leaving their life forever can be heartbreaking and make you question your self-worth or whether or not they truly loved you as much as you did them.
Nevertheless, I'm proud of you and am sending you lots of love, strength, and well wishes!
PS: I can't wait for this phase of our lives to be over and to finally hear the good news that we've each found our "perfect" partners.
@Lisaisherenow
So great to hear from you, I feel the same way and get excited/ feel comforted too when I receive a new message from you! :)
Yes, I'm glad that things are starting to move forward again slowly. :)
It's very soothing to know that you're experiencing similiar emotions and conflicts...I too like to focus on one thing at a time, but seems like life wants me to learn how to multitask at times. 😅
I suppose I should be grateful that my ex isn't sending me any mixed signals though, at least that makes moving on a little bit easier.. I hope it's the same with your ex.
That's really sweet of you, I'm proud of you too, I really admire your clear view on things.
Sending lots of love, endurance and nothing but the best your way!
P.S. Likewise, can't wait for that day to come and I'm excited to see where our journeys will lead us!
Take care and looking forward to your next update!
@Ghosthost25
Hey! Ghosthost25, I hope you're doing great!
I'm back with a concise update this time.
June 2025, has been the most emotionally difficult month thus far.
I've been experiencing bouts of random sadness in conjunction with the
longing for a person and relationship that is no longer there. I'm in a weird and uncomfortable place. On
one hand, I see myself moving forward and progressing in other areas of
my life but on the other, I feel removed from the people and places
around me. I'm present physically but absent emotionally and am just trying to push
through it all little by little.
Nevertheless, I hope you've settled well into your NEW job and apartment!
Hoping to hear from you soon!
Sending you love, strength, and warmth!
💓
Hey Lisaisherenow!
It's great to hear from you again!
I'm sorry to hear that June has been so emotionally challenging so far...I can really relate to your post though. This month I feel the emotional loss and longing that come hand in hand a lot more intensely too. I know this sounds dramatic, but at the moment I feel more like I'm surviving rather than living, trying to get by day by day, but I not really enjoying the.
On Monday my ex and I met at the apartment we shared, to split up the furniture. It took us about 7 hours in total and we were able to laugh and even cry a little about the past.
I find it so hard to leave everytime I'm back at the old apartment and the days afterwards are usually worse. I got a migraine a day after and I couldn't help but overthink again. Some days I feel like the breakup was my fault and that I somehow sabotaged myself.
All in all I'm wondering whether we're underestimating how emotionally draining breakups can be? So far I think we've established that we're both not very patient people. Maybe we just need to feel this through now in order for the sadness and longing to lessen?
I'll start my new job in August and I'll be able to move into the new apartment at the end of this month, so perhaps that will distract my mind a little.
Has anything triggered your feelings of sadness and longing or do you think it's just a part of the breakup Prozess?
Anyway I'm sorry if I'm not reading/ understanding your message correctly, I wish I could say something that would make us feel better...
Sending you lots of love, encouragement, a warm hug and a big, bright light at the end of this breakup tunnel! ❤️
@Ghosthost25
Hey Ghosthost25! I'm glad to hear from you again.
Reading through your post I can tell that you're hurting. I am too, but I want you to know I'm here for you and nothing you say is too much or too little. You're not dramatic.
You're correct, we should probably allow ourselves the space and time to process the tapestry of emotions breakups bring. As you said before they are emotionally draining and have the potential to leave you with a lasting fear of being hurt like we have been again in the future.
For me, the hurt I'm currently experiencing comes in waves. On some days I'm fine, with my head on straight and a drive to do my best. Then on others, I feel this massive lump in my throat and don't want to get out of bed at all.
I'm beginning to accept that my mind has already identified the problems, solutions, and ways to move forward but my emotions and body are struggling to catch up. So there's an internal battle occurring, my mind telling me to "move on, get over it, and that I know where things went wrong" and my emotions telling me "I'm tired, drained, and afraid to have another man get close to me like that again." I'm currently conflicted.
I relate to your overthinking and I agree, we probably do have an issue with being patient.
To answer your question, yes my feelings were recently triggered by a man who forced his way into my life before I was healed and ready. I fell into a verbal war with him after he accidentally stepped on all the hurt and broken pieces of my self-esteem. I asked for space and time to heal, offering friendship in the meantime. He didn't listen and ended up getting the brunt of the unresolved issues between my ex and I. After it all, I apologized but I found myself in this unhealthy loop of acceptance and denial.
Thank you for all your support. You understood my message perfectly!
Sending you lots of love and happiness. 💖
@Lisaisherenow
Likewise, always excited to hear from you and thank you so much for your ongoing support! :)
I think you hit the nail on the head with the word "conflicted". Although we seem to understand the breakup on a rational level, it's a completly different thing on an emotional level.
But then again, at least we are heading towards acceptance and moving passt the guet, even it might take longer than wie would like it to.
I'm sorry to hear that this man seemingly didn't respect your boundaries... you're in my thoughts and I hope you will find a man in the future, who will respect your needs and boundaries!
Sending you lots of love and happiness back along with moments of joy and serenitiy ❤️
I, maybe, it's been about 3 months since I broke up with my ex, I was the victim of betrayal, if it can help you don't hesitate to contact me even telling your story can help
Hey Simonzez
Thank you for your post!
I'm sorry to hear that!
How are you holding up?
I wasn't a victim of betrayal, my ex and I just had different plans for the future that didn't align...eventhough I still muss him, I can understand that perhaps the breakup is for the greater good...but I'm finding it a bit difficult to adjust to being on my own a lot of the time, sometimes I feel like I'm missing out or that my ex ist probably having a great time without me.
Anyway, hope you're doing alright and sending you lots of encouragement! :)
It's been 2 days. I can't even breathe. How are you holding up?
Hey there!
I'm really sorry to hear that...
I felt that way too right after the breakup...but after 3.5 months I can say it doesn't hurt as much as I did to begin with!
My friends and family really help, they listen to me and just being around them helps me to feel better. Are you getting any support from friends and family?
Sending you lots of love and encouragement!
@Ghosthost25
Yes it's been now 30+ days now since she broke up with me as we were on and off for a year and 2 months. I was the one that broke it up each time in the beginning since I knew me and her were not compatible in the sense of lifestyles or values and what we want in life. But she would come back and I would accept her in since I was lonely and LOVED how she was always there and called me up or hang out with me. The break up was hard but I knew I had relief but I miss so badly having someone to love and someone that loved me. I miss that more than her as a person. 🙄 And it was my first woman relationship as I usually date guys since I am a woman too. She persued me as well relentlessly when I had said I was not interested but she wore me down and I gave her chance Last March 2024. 😮💨 So sorry we are in this breakup boat now
@SkyGazer13
Hey there, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this too!
I can really relate to the feeling of missing being in a relationship more than the actual ex.
But perhaps this is good news in a sensce, because this means we were able to create those feelings by ourselves and not our ex partners, so it seems likely that we will be able to have these feelings with other people or perhaps even by ourselves.
I hope your ex is giving you some time and space to recover and won't pressure again this time.
Sending you lots of love and strength!
@Ghosthost25
Well now she is giving space since June 5th but she was so not being cordial or respecting my boundaries in the relationship and out of it and all the times I tried to set it up as friendship she would mock it and make it feel like she could not even be a friend to me. I am super happy that I do have the ability to have this love for someone else and it was not to my ex only (she has her own traumas that I now can see and had started to see later in the relationship but she tried to hide it or have me guess and hint and ask the right questions). Weird, I know but I tried my best but could not get what she was trying to hint at so she would have to break it down for me as we got closer. Thank you for also understanding as sometimes people say you miss the person and I'm like no. I see this person was not right for me and I want better as I should get basic respect of my boundaries and other things but basic human decency the bare minimum here 🙄🙆🏽♀️ What I miss so far the most that I sometimes check my ex girlfriend's text message conversation to see if she sent anything. I have her on mute so I won't really see her conversation, and I have her calls be sent to voicemail and she has me on block as well. But I still check to see since she would speak to me everyday for a year and two months. She was constant in that and I enjoy that very much and love having someone to see and check up on me. Now I try to create a support group and I am going out more and I do have three other coworkers that check up on me as well and have deep connections. But it hits differently when it is a significant other that loves you (the eros love) and is committed to you just as I was to her but now I am going back to guys so it will for sure be a guy now 😂😅 what do you miss about your habits with your ex? And this can be for anyone in the chat too!
