Do you ever feel like you want to be alone but not completely alone?
I never had a problem socializing during my college years and early adulthood, but deep inside, I’ve always known that I’m not the type of person who enjoys being around large groups or people I don’t really vibe with.
When I was working in a hotel, it was part of my job to socialize and network, even though I didn’t like the attitude of some people I was talking to, or we just weren’t on the same wavelength. Then the pandemic came, and I had the chance to work from home. I enjoyed it for a long time, but for some reason, I now find it hard to stay in a friend group or community.
I started having trouble socializing, and sometimes I don’t even know how to talk casually with people. Whenever the conversation turns personal, I tend to detach and eventually ghost them. Sometimes I even feel anxious meeting up with friends I already know. It’s been giving me depression because I spend so much time alone at home, and I don’t have someone I feel truly comfortable talking to.
When I’m alone, I get stuck in my thoughts and overthink everything. The pressure about my career and marriage keeps building up, and I feel like I’m losing confidence in myself.
I want to be alone, but at the same time, I want someone by my side who I can truly be myself with and open up to.
@Sunnyme26
Hi Sunny,
You are not alone with your feelings.
There are lots of us in the same boat.
It's OK to keep your walls up, I have for decades.
I am highly introverted and possibly much older (60), I do not have that one friend anymore that I could lean on and depend to have that serious confidential talk with.
I like to be alone but crave and miss that one REAL Friend to talk to when needed.
I think Covid has played with a lot of our minds and for me it still does. As I am now a germaphobe and truly do not want to hang with people who are just co-workers.
