Family stuff

Hello everyone,

I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this , so I’m posting here.

I am struggling w/ my relationship to my boyfriend’s brother’s wife.

It’s a longish story. Her & i were fine intially. It all changed when they got engaged. My boyfriend’s mom told us in a convo that whoever had children first, she would move to them. And that made me feel bad about where i am in life and also made me feel like there was competition b/w me & future sister in law. After that i started to not like her. Mother in law would constantly talk crap about her to me and that didn’t help either.

Fast forward to the wedding planning, my boyfriend & i never received any invitations regarding the wedding, no save the date, no wedding invite, no bridal shower, not even a card to pick out our food. And it started to rub me the wrong way.

Then it started with her being rude. She constantly complained that the mother in law was helping us pay for things for the wedding( like tux & hotel rooms) saying stuff like oh wow i wish she gave me that, i’d love to have $400 on a gift card, stuff like that. And would make comments about my father in law being fat as well as my boyfriend. When she said those things i was shocked, but everyone just laughed it off / ignored it.

The thing that really made this worse for me was the week of the wedding, my grandpa died and i was having a hard time. It was also the time i found out i wasnt going to be included in the getting ready time the morning of the wedding, and i felt really hurt. Because to me that’s an important part of the day. I brought it up to mom in law and she tried to play it off like it was no big deal, cause i dont think she knew how to help. But it left me feeling like i was silly for being upset. So then we get to the destination and I’m struggling and having a hard time. I’m sad bc my grandpa died but also because i felt extremely alone & left out and it felt like nobody cared. I kept alot to myself because i wasnt trying to make anything about me bc it was the wedding weekend. And i cried alot and just got ready the day of by myself and it felt really ***. I tried so hard that weekend to not let it show.

So now it’s been awhile and i thought i put it past me but now being around her just drains me, i don’t want to be around her. It bothers me that my mom in law gives her attention & acts like her best friend. This obviously wouldn’t bother me if i liked my sis in law. I don’t want to feel how i feel and i want to get pasted this.

It bothers me bc i feel like she isnt a great person and people like her , but realistically i cant control what ppl do or feel. I have to deal with her if i want to be with my boyfriend but idk how to navigate this