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Having a quarter life crisis

User Profile: indigo40
indigo40 May 14th, 2023

I turned 22 last month and mentally I feel like 16. I have never worked nor do I have the skills and knowledge to get a decent one, live with family, don't have any friends rn, no interests or hobbies. I feel terrible and miserable and anxious about my future. I'm so stuck and time is passing me by. Can't believe its already been 3 years since covid, 2020 feels like yesterday. And I have done nothing with myself at all. I feel so behind my peers and have no hope of catching up. I wish i knew what to do

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User Profile: hopefulPond6108
hopefulPond6108 May 14th, 2023

@indigo40 I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I’ve been there and it’s an uncomfortable place to be.

Panic won’t help. Comparison with your peers won’t help. You can focus on your efforts right now though.

Make a plan. Work toward your plan. Breath. Develop gratitude for what you have in the present. Stay in the present as much as you can. This doesn’t mean let go of your dreams. It just means that now is all we can work with. If you stay in the present you’ll have the energy you need to work on your plan.
2 replies
User Profile: indigo40
indigo40 OP May 15th, 2023

I know you're right, I really do, but its so hard to not compare :( Especially because there was a time when I was ahead of the curve but now I've been left behind. I kno its bs to compare but its hard to stop and just focus on myself

1 reply
User Profile: hopefulPond6108
hopefulPond6108 May 15th, 2023

@indigo40 Yeah it’s pretty normal to get caught up in comparison. There are ways to notice when you start engaging in those thoughts and short circuit them so they don’t ruin your day.

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User Profile: toughNest1346
toughNest1346 May 17th, 2023

You are not alone! Many young people feel this way. You don’t have to achieve some high goals, or become a millionaire at this age. This is the age when you try to find yourself. From my experience, it is really hard to understand this world and what you like until you try something. Don’t be afraid to try, to dream, to make mistakes. You’re still very young, it is never too late to start something new. (And actually it is very rare, when someone likes their first job and that’s OK)

And try not to compare yourself with others, I know how hard it can be, but you never know what they actually feel and what they went through. This is your life, only you are responsible for it and only you will always be with you :) Isn’t it a good reason to love yourself and make yourself happy?


User Profile: lavenderCar7953
lavenderCar7953 May 18th, 2023

I am honestly in the same boat. Im the same age, same situation, everything. I had a job that I was proud of and felt so ahead and now that that job no longer holds the same appeal, I feel so stuck. I moved back with my mom and don't know anyone here and have nothing to do. All I do is stay home while all the other people my age start their lives and families and I feel I have nothing to account for. I've ran and hidden from my problems and now I'm hidden, there's no coming out. I really understand and I think it's disappointing we feel this way. We are still young and people change careers and dreams millions of times but yet it doesn't stop us from feeling this lost. I'm sorry you are going through this but I hope that knowing there are others that are equally lost make it a little easier to take the time to figure out exactly what you're looking for.

User Profile: secretSea3461
secretSea3461 May 18th, 2023

I felt this way throughout my 20s. I worked, but part time. No college degree. My friends started getting married and having their own life. I began to feel alone. I really had to push myself to get where I am now. I still have a lot to do, since I started a year go, but the point is I’m improving. You will improve too. Your 20s are a mess. Everybody’s is. And just because you feel like you haven’t had things figured out, doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. You’re still so young. And if your peers have it all figured out, they don’t. People are just good at pretending. Remember, nothing is forever