Hi I’m new
Hi I’m new here I’m 29 and will be 30 on the 29th am I still welcome here at 30? Lol is there anyway to become a listener on here I’d like to be one maybe verified one day. I’m between therapy as in getting new insurance and have some small family issues I’d like to talk about but I’ll let you know I am married and have a 5 year old son with my husband. I like to talk about adhd related things other people don’t tell you as well and things around marriage and parenting some. Alot of my issues are issues others brought up to me that I need to talk about and not my own problems and issues. My mom makes me feel like I need therapy more than anything else, my husband has autism and I have adhd autism intellectual disability to name a few things and I’m medicated for adhd depression and anxiety and the horrible PMS! She knows he loves and cares for me but finds every little thing wrong that she doesn’t like rather wrong or not and talks to me about it then I have to talk to someone about it to get it off my chest. Don’t think she’s trying to separate us she just wishes that my husband would change and ONLY GOD can change people and help them change and if they are willing and I know my husband is willing it’s just not happening on “her time” because it only happens in Gods time. I’d be fine with therapy once a month if she wouldnt bring these things to me all the time and obsess over them. I’m not becoming a nagging wife either that’s not my job to tell someone what to do how to do it and how to live their life and all that I’m here to support love encourage and be a companion and helper to my husband and best friend he really is my best friend no one else would of stayed with me when I wasn’t cleaning house caring for animals well and all that stuff. Others would of called me lazy divorced and moved on and I don’t call that true love do you?
Any advice here wish she would sorry about her own plank and now my husbands speck?
@Tiffany48
It sounds like you are a very insightful person, and devoted spouse. You have mentioned autism, ADHD, depression, anxiety and horrible PMS.
However, based on what I have read, you are quite intelligent, and have managed to cope with the above with impressive effectiveness.
Regarding your mom with her criticisms and expectations, please keep in mind, that you are closer to your husband and understand his needs, just as in all probability he understands yours as well or maybe even better than your mom.
She may believe that she is well-intentioned, but she exists outside of your relationship, and can't possibly know your relationship dynamics as well as either of you do.
If her wishes, criticisms and expectations make either of you uncomfortable, it's okay to set a boundary that she is not allowed to violate. In fact, doing so may be necessary to ensure the well-being of the relationship between you and your husband.
I admire your desire to become a listener. It occurs to me, that while learning to become a listener, it may become easier for you to convince your mom that you need for her to become a supportive listener rather than be someone who interferes.
Her "plank" is likely to remain in place until she prioritizes listening and understanding rather than giving unsolicited advice.
Keep in mind, parents often have an irresistible urge to keep parenting, even after their children are adults. That's why there are countless stories about interfering in laws. They can be 100% wonderful people, but simply have not been introduced to the concept of appropriate boundaries.
@Tiffany48
Hey
