How do you trust again when it still hurts so much?

Hi, I'm writing this because I feel really alone in what I'm going through. Almost two years ago, I found out my partner was talking to a coworker and deleting the messages. He and his friends say it was nothing serious, just small talk, but the fact that he hid it shattered me. The worst part is that everyone around him knew and nobody told me.

We decided to stay together, went to therapy, and he changed a lot. Now he does all the things a "faithful" partner is supposed to do. But the truth is… the wound never really healed. The trust never came back. And every time I try to believe again, my mind fills with doubt. I keep wondering: Did they really tell me the full truth? Was he hiding more? Was I just not enough?

This has been especially hard for me because I have OCD — I've lived with it for years. It was somewhat under control, but after this betrayal, my intrusive thoughts came back stronger than ever. I overthink everything, I replay scenes over and over, I question what’s real and what’s not… even when I don’t want to. It’s not something I can just “let go.” It’s a painful loop, and I get stuck in it.

The hardest part? Whenever I try to talk about it, people make me feel like I'm the dramatic one, the "traumatized" one who won’t move on. Even one of his friends (who’s a psychologist) once told him, “She should be over this by now.” But no one understands how much it still hurts. No one asks what it cost me to stay. No one sees how alone I feel trying to rebuild something that broke me.

I feel like I have to stay quiet to keep the peace in the relationship. But the silence is eating me alive.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? How do you heal from betrayal when there’s no room to talk about it anymore without being judged?

Thanks for reading.