How to stop being scared of my parents

I need to stop being so scared of my mother. I need to stop trying to not *** her off. Despite how much I say I don’t care, I do have this weird gut feeling of not wanting to disappoint my parents in general. I need to get over that. I need to stop trying to impress them because they don’t control my life.

It’s weird how I’m trying so hard to not end up like my parents and how I don’t feel any need to be close to them and that I still do whatever I want, yet in a complicated way, I still feel the need to tell them everything going on with me. Or this need to provoke them into an argument that I never actually have the guts to argue back with if that makes sense. I mean I’m so scared of my mother. I am scared of making her mad but also, why? What is she gonna do? She cut me off and stopped taking to me for a month once and what happened? Nothing. The world didn’t end, I still had an income, I still lived alone, I was fine. So why am I still so scared to stand up for myself? Why am I still so scared of her or scared of making her mad? The same goes for my dad. He’s the reason I flinch when anyone yells at me not because he hit me but because when he gets mad, he yells and gets really ***.

Both of them are the reason im so scared of pissing people off. I don’t want anyone to be mad at me so I people please my way through life and never stand up for myself. How do I get over this? How do I get over this constant fear of not wanting to *** my parents off? I feel like when I get over that fear of pissing them off and start provoking them or arguing with them back or standing up for myself, then I’ll be better about it in real life. I won’t let boyfriends take advantage of me, I won’t let friends talk down to me because im younger, I will able to take control more of my life yet still be able to make friends. I just need help on how to take the first step of standing up for myself to my parents.

Any tips?