I am 19 year old from jaipur I am looking for genuine friendship and connections

an introduction

19, from Jaipur.

This is who I am.

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ENFP / INFP · 4w5 · she/her

in plain terms

I'm a 19-year-old from Jaipur who spends most of her time writing, reading, drawing, and thinking ... not really in that order. I'm soft and emotional by nature, the kind of person who feels everything deeply and intensely and doesn't really know how to feel things halfway. I notice details most people walk past and then go home and write about them for an hour.

I'm shy and a little anxious in new spaces, but genuinely warm once I'm comfortable. I care about people quietly and unconditionally ... I forgive easily, I listen without judgment, and I try to understand before I react. I'm humble almost to a fault. I don't like taking up space loudly. I'd rather sit in the corner of a room and observe everything than be at the centre of it.

There's something a little childlike in how I move through the world...dreamy, wide-eyed, still genuinely surprised by beautiful things. People sometimes mistake that for naivety and maybe it is. I'm okay with that. I'd rather stay soft than grow hard just to seem more serious.

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the inner world

I'm deeply spiritual in a way I keep very private. I practice Druidism and not for performance, but because I genuinely believe every tree, plant, and creature has a soul. I believe in animism. Nature isn't a backdrop to me; it's a living thing I want to form a real bond with, under both sun and moon.

I'm also devoted to Maa Kali and Krishna. My spirituality holds contradictions and I'm fine with that. In the outside world I engage rationally, even skeptically... I think religion should be personal and humble, not performed. What I believe stays between me and the earth.

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writing & journals

I journal obsessively like I have about six or seven notebooks, each with a different purpose: a main journal, a nature journal, a grimoire, a commonplace book, a daily diary, a philosophy and art history notebook, a creative dump journal, a daily planner. Writing is how I process everything. Poetry especially. If something moves me..a painting, a line of prose, a tree I passed... I sit with it and write until I understand why.

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art, literature & learning

I'm heavily into art history like...movements, painters, the philosophy behind the work, not just the aesthetics. I sketch and draw too, both traditional and digital. I read classical literature deeply rather than widely, paying attention to individual lines, sitting with them. Same with philosophy and poetry. I'm starting to explore mythology, folklore, and history properly now. I want to understand things, not just know them.

music, media & the darker tastes

My music is heavy and emotional: Linkin Park, Rammstein, alt and punk. I also listen to disturbing vocaloids creators like Maretu, Kikuo... the kind that sits in an uncanny uncomfortable place. That thread runs through most of what I love: The Walten Files is one of my favourite horror series, and I'm drawn to things in media and books that are strange, unsettling, or just a little off. Soft outside, dark tastes.

I love makeup but I keep it soft and earthy.. nothing loud, just something that feels like me. I'm feminine in a way that's natural, not constructed.

I'm shy with new people but I'm not uninterested in them. I actually want real friendships built around genuine things...ideas, art, nature, books. Not small talk.