I cant do anything and i just feel so jaded
I feel hopeless and helpless. I cant seem to get back on track, it takes me a long time to get started again.
it has been some days since and i just dont feel like doing anything. I just want to relax.
i am still quite lucky. In fact i am VERY lucky because i get to take a break when others would have a lot of trouble. I am THANKFUL for my parents and family for even being patient with me still. I am thankful for a HOME. And a comfortable one at that. I’m thankful for having some money and food, other people would have a hard time not having a job or education and here i am.
…..i just wish i could pull myself together. do something i want, for myself. I am THANKFUL i am no longer depressed. At least even when i get sad like this i can mostly get myself out of it.
i think i feel the most “hopeless” when it comes to pushing myself to do something with my life. This (good life) wont be forever. If i dont get a job or finish my education i will certainly have a hard time in the future.
i just cant seem to get myself together. Despite all this “relaxing” and doing nothing i still feel tired. I dont know whats wrong with me.
Honestly i dont know whats wrong. It cant be that academic is too hard for me. Because i hd achieved some good grades in the past… i just cant seem to be… consistent? Or keep my energy levels up for a consistent period of time. Have the same motivation or discipline to get through a tough time or push through a goal.
maybe i can look into my diet or nutrition? My diet hasnt been very well. I am not obese or too overweight but i do have a lot of sugar and junk food.
i also dont have a lot of friends or social interaction besides family and household members. i have a boyfriend but even he is far. I dont do much or get out of the house a lot.
what can i do?
Just a random thought: social media overwhelms me. Even at the pace i am doing it now. I am not active on social media at all, i am not the type to post pictures or statuses. Maybe once in a week? Every two weeks? But even then i get overwhelmed every time i scroll through a feed or read comments, especially reading comments. I think, how could this many people be this dumb or nasty or both? Honestly. I dont think of myself any better… but just that, seeing all this online interaction is overwhelming, even more if i participate (which i avoid now — because, for what? Its really all so dumb and useless). Im sorry i am just ranting. But i think what i am making a point is that even “far, distant” things like this, which i am not even significantly a part of, seem to still drain me and exhaust me? Even just thinking or feeling about it….feels too much for me. And it is my guess that it could be why i feel so low on energy sometimes… besides a bad diet and low exercise… that perhaps i think or feel too much, that it takes away from me.
sorry this doesnt make sense. English is also not my first language that is why i may express a bit weird.
thank you
