My mother can be a child

My mother uses money against me all the time. If she gives me money, she expects to be paid back and then uses it as leverage later on in life to make me do things. What’s worse is every time I get upset at her for being straight up insensitive and mean to me, she uses money against me and says that I should just bite my tongue because she’s given me so much.

Here’s the thing though. Since the age of 18, I’ve supported myself completely. I’ve paid my own rent and bills, paid my own College, paid my own car payments and insurance and the only thing she’s paid for is my phone bill and medical insurance. There have been times where I’ve been at a low and needed an extra $100 for groceries or gas just to make it to the next pay check. Those times have been rare but I have asked for her for money. Furthermore, she offers money all the time! I say I got accepted into this awesome program for school and she instantly jumps to “oh I’ll give you some money for fun and to help pay for it” and I didn’t ask or say okay. She just Venmo’s it to me. Or she’ll use non existent money against me. Like I said I might not have a job in a few months and I’m not sure what to do about rent but I’m figuring it out. She’ll be like, “dont worry, I’ll give you the money when you need it for rent” and then she’ll use that against me later. Even though she hasn’t given me the money yet and that entire future is hypothetical!

So now because of her so called “generous” donations, I can never be upset at her when she says things like I’ve gained weight or that im over sensitive. Because when I get upset at those things, she pulls the whole “I’ve given you so much and you are ungrateful. I just keep giving and giving and giving you money and all you ever talk to me for is for money. You are just *** up to me for it. I have done so much for you by just giving birth to you” etc, etc, etc.

It’s just pissing me off.