Panicking
Tomorrow is my exam i was studying then while eating lunch I was watching healthygamer's YouTube video then I looked at my screen time it was 12 hours 40 minutes I saw that last week and week before that my screen time avg. was 13.5 hours last week and 11.7 hours week before last week and 13 hours week before that . I started panicking I was panicking but I feel a bit less overwhelmed I think I felt suicidal. I don't know how people actually live their life like I was just sitting and thinking that I have no purpose like why am I alive what I want to do if I want a gf what I have to show for I'm 2 years younger than everyone in college few are working a job some are preparing for competitive exams and me I am not doing anything . In the sense that actually working hard I'm not working hard because suicide is always on my mind as backup and it's so *** stupid. Sorry for the rant . At least it calmed me down. I want a partner not a gf or a friend someone with whom I can share what's going on my life ,what I am currently studying ,what's the progress of my study, diet, exercise, how's the day been etc. If someone is same as me looking for companion I will be an acquaintance. Thank you.
I hear how heavy this feels for you right now. It sounds like you’re under so much pressure with exams, and at the same time you’re questioning your purpose and comparing yourself to others. That must feel overwhelming and really painful. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
I also want to say—it worries me that you mentioned feeling suicidal. If you are ever thinking of acting on those thoughts, please reach out right away to someone you trust or a professional who can give you the support you deserve. If you’re located in the U.S., you can dial or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you’re outside the U.S., you can find international hotlines at https://findahelpline.com. You don’t have to go through this alone.
I’m glad you reached out here—it takes courage to open up about what’s on your mind. Even just sharing like you did shows strength. You deserve care, kindness, and someone to listen to you.
