Should I try reaching out?
TW: talk of abusive family and controlling relationship
So for context, I come from an abusive household and I left a little over a year ago. I left because my partner made me promise if the abuse ever got physical again I would run and never turn back. I've been constantly around my partner essentially since I left. They have their issues and I'm not allowed to talk to anyone else, follow anyone else or let anyone follow me, they even get upset if I want to talk to a therapist.
I've been going through a lot recently and I really miss some of the people who actually cared from where I was from, they just couldn't do anything about my situation. I particularly miss my favorite cousin and I'm considering reaching out to her. I just don't know if it's worth the effort to sneak around and the potential of a fight.
Should I try to reach out or is it not worth the trouble?
@olivePond9693
Sounds like you jumped from one bad situation to another.... your partner may seem OK but when a person wants to isolate you and not want you to get better by talking to others even therapy it is like they want you to stay damaged / scared and trauma bonded to them.... that is not a healthy relationship or love.... that is gas lighting.
I think it would be better to discuss your situation and desire to speak to people upfront because even if you pull it off in secret sooner or later it will come out and that shows that you did not trust him anymore then he trusts you. is that the relationship you want.
@toughTiger6481
Yeah it's a tough situation, it's a lot more complicated than just that though so being upfront does also pose a risk. I'm trying to work out our stuff in our relationship too, there's just so many moving parts.
We actually had a huge argument last night and I caved and reached out to my cousin and we've been talking on and off today which is really nice. I'm even considering trying to talk to my brother again too but that relationship was always really complicated so I'm mulling that one over for a while.
It feels terrible to have to be so secretive rn, but even with just one person I'm a lot less isolated, which is nice. Baby steps, I guess.
@olivePond9693
I am glad things went well with cousin and understand your decision to keep secret. Life always has expected and unexpected risks and many moving parts as time never stops or take a break.
i wish the best for you
@toughTiger6481
Thank you!!