The breath of tree(actual story)

hot summer night and i am sitting at an open cafe with soda and we were laughing on almost everything. we were meeting after a long time.....and everytime i meet her i feel like i am fine with not having a lot of friends as long as i can have one friend like her. its like everytime we're together i can say things that doesn't make sense but i still say it because somehow she can make sense out of it and every damn time i know she will understand what i am saying.....she creates a space with such comfort that sometimes i am afraid that i might not be able to do same.....even though i have lost friends and people because of giving too much but never because i didn't gave enough and thats why i started learning how not to overspill my love and care but its been years since i am friends with her and now when i am with her i kind of want to overflow and spill when i am pouring her cup....not too much but just a little....little enought to make her giggle on how unstable i am.....and for me watching her appreciating everything i am and i have with a giggle is one of the things that make me want to be more....for example i can actually state weird facts i think about all the time...just like i did at this moment when we were sitting in the cafe and i told her that the tree with fairy light slowly fading in and out looked like its beathing and she looked at me and said you think so deep...soon after when we were laughing she noticed the fairy lights started flickering and she said that the tree is hyperventilating....well in my opinion the flickering was the tree laughing along with us...............we laughed on the tree for so long and it was nothing new for us we do these things all the time.but what was new for me is the feeling i am finally acknowledging right now , the feeling of actually wanting someone to be there when you're old and wrinkled its kind of scary becaused i've had that feeling before and it kind of didn't ended up as i imagined for years and it still feel like i am putting myself in a war with no weapons but more than it feels like i am jumping from somewhere high and i can see a trampoline somewhere below and i just have a feeling or maybe i am just hoping that the trampoline is where i end up falling. am i going to bounce back or am i going to break atleast 56 bones in me? i don't know but i want to take this jump.