Are we being Selfish Or are we needing Self Care?

If you look up the word ‘selfish’ in the dictionary right now it will say, “devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others”. At this point in time, we view selfishness as a negative characteristic in others. Like it’s a crime to think about yourself and yourself only. Society has taught us that taking care of ourselves is selfish. Society has embedded in your brain that it is mentally illegal to make decisions solely based on what YOU want, and not taking into account everybody else. If you look deep enough into that, that’s the way society rules us. But, in reality, it’s okay to be selfish because it’s not selfish in the way that society wants you to believe, it’s actually self care. Self care goes way past taking a vacation, getting a facial, buying yourself something nice, etc. It’s deeper than that. It’s about doing what is best for you, no matter what that is.

Here is the hard truth, we are givers. For example, if I give something to you, you receive it, and I take nothing back in exchange. Guess who is the most powerful and has control of the situation? Me, because I gave it to you. Vice versa, if I receive something and I dont give back, I feel vulnerable. Therefore, the other person is in control. This all comes down to normalized control issues. Instead of just being equals or having equal exchange, someone is always seeking power out of a situation. Another example is giving advice to a friend who did not ask for it. Your friend was just complaining and venting per usual and for some reason you feel the need to give them a solution. That is a problem inside of yourself that you need to fix and you need to ask yourself this, “why am i trying to control that person?” or “why is it my job to tell them what to do when they didn’t ask?”. I often tell my students don’t answer a question someone didn’t ask, they won’t listen or care about your answer. You’re wasting your breath and energy.

We seek our value by what we have to give others and we forget to take care of ourselves in the process. If you don’t love, honor, and respect yourself, you can’t help anyone and you will not have any healthy relationships in your life until you do so. A great place to start is, don’t offer anyone anything. If somebody asks you for something and they did not do an energy exchange (buying you a meal, giving you money, paying for your time, etc.) they won’t honor what you gave them. By accepting this you’re no longer honoring yourself, which is poor self care. Think about people in bootcamp, they don’t do stuff for other people while they are there. They are simply doing what they are told so that eventually they can save lives. Realizing things like this are never easy, and it tends to bring up some negative emotions. Just remember that sometimes when you’re down, it’s just for a time, and you’re getting ready to be powerful. We have to be knocked down to honor ourselves first, then we proceed to the next step.

It’s time to dive deep and start caring about yourself, the life changing transformation will follow. Do some self care, know your worth, and look for the signs of awakening. But always remember, selfishness is another word for self care. Embrace it!

Are we being Selfish Or are we needing Self Care?

If you look up the word ‘selfish’ in the dictionary right now it will say, “devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others”. At this point in time, we view selfishness as a negative characteristic in others. Like it’s a crime to think about yourself and yourself only. Society has taught us that taking care of ourselves is selfish. Society has embedded in your brain that it is mentally illegal to make decisions solely based on what YOU want, and not taking into account everybody else. If you look deep enough into that, that’s the way society rules us. But, in reality, it’s okay to be selfish because it’s not selfish in the way that society wants you to believe, it’s actually self care. Self care goes way past taking a vacation, getting a facial, buying yourself something nice, etc. It’s deeper than that. It’s about doing what is best for you, no matter what that is.

Here is the hard truth, we are givers. For example, if I give something to you, you receive it, and I take nothing back in exchange. Guess who is the most powerful and has control of the situation? Me, because I gave it to you. Vice versa, if I receive something and I dont give back, I feel vulnerable. Therefore, the other person is in control. This all comes down to normalized control issues. Instead of just being equals or having equal exchange, someone is always seeking power out of a situation. Another example is giving advice to a friend who did not ask for

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