Jumping to Conclusions – Mind Reading
@Havingfuninthesnow
yeah, its a huge problem for immigrants with no language skills and I guess autistic types with communication problems.
@LostTurtle22
It is a problem for a lot of people and some people don't realize they are doing this thought distortion.
this is a big problem i would guess in relationships as well...
i know it is in mine ...........I think people who have trouble communicating decide they can guess how a person feels / or what a person is thinking .... very bad idea.
sets you up for bad outcomes if you assume the person you are going to have to deal with is mad ... but in fact maybe they wince because they have some sort or pain ... you brace yourself and small things escalate all because you guessed wrong thing.
@toughTiger6481
Yes, that is true. Relationships suffer because of this thinking distortion and others.
I learned from don Miguel Ruiz not to assume things and not to take things personally (from his 4 agreements book). I read books on CBT, too.
However, I can't use the knowledge in my behavior. When emotionally triggered, all the knowledge and logic goes away and I can't control my behavior. Ideas?
@LostTurtle22
I think many of us resort back to items even after we read/ discuss/ learn other methods.....when emotional
it is a hard one to overcome in not making assumptions and I have tried several items like waiting to respond trying to repeat step back and evaluate to myself but in a disagreement or the closer a relationship is out the window goes all the practice.
@LostTurtle22
What if you try using the DBT STOP skill to think for a minute before you proceed?
@Havingfuninthesnow
I'm aware of the DBT techniques, but for them to work, I think I need training. Like simulated triggering situations and a trainer. Maybe a therapist?
@LostTurtle22
A therapist is helpful. I know that the group which the link is in the image above is very supportive and the Admin/Moderator Team is amazing asking us questions every day helping us learn the skills and applying them. There are several of us that also bring the skills from the group to our therapist appts and have them help us work through what we should have done or what we can in a future situation.