Life completely fell apart at 46

Hello everyone, new here and hope I can let some things out and find some peace. I recently had my life fall apart at 46 years old. Had a girlfriend of 11 years and raising two young boys. We had been having problems for quite a while and she left me once after getting a restraining order after having a bad argument while drinking. This was two years ago and she came back and dropped everything and we tried to make it work. She decided she wanted to move back home to Maine from Colorado where we were for 10 years and talked me into moving her home saying she would probably go without me if I didn't. I loved her and did not want to lose my family, so I reluctantly brought her back. She instantly turned into a different person and I got the sense that she had planned on leaving me the minute she got here. We both quit drinking, but I instantly became insecure and she kept pushing so more fighting and she went and got another restraining order and took the kids and went to stay with family. This time I contacted her through text message and got arrested. You would think by this time I would've learned my lesson but in the middle of it all she called me and talked about dropping it and trying to get me out of trouble and saying she wanted to come back to me so I took her back and ended up on probation. She came back and we lasted maybe 2 to 3 months and when I was at work one day, she went and saw a different judge and got another restraining order this time getting me thrown out out of my apartment. There were no apartments in this area and the few that there were were way over priced and I could not afford it being thrown out on such short notice so I grabbed my camping gear and lived in a campground for two months. This was back in August and I have a court date pending because I've been arrested again for contacting her about getting my belongings out of my apartment. I have no friends and no family here in Maine as I am not from here. I am now living in a camper that I bought so I would not have to leave my children. The probation officer has filed to revoke my probation, and I may be facing serious jail time for a text message. I am living alone out in the country in below freezing temperatures in this camper, scared beyond belief, and in the darkest place of my life. There were no findings of abuse on these protection orders. I agreed to let her keep them so I would be able to see my kids which I am twice a month, but have no place to take him other than this little camper in rural Maine. I know it sounds crazy and sounds like a lot and it is. I just don't really have anyone to talk to about it all. I've been in a daze, a literal daze for five months now and nothing seems real. I could really use a friend or family member that's for sure.