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A general Journal

User Profile: FaithMonk9473
FaithMonk9473 February 17th, 2025

I am trying to improve myself. Trying to use the Journal to write whatever comes to my mind.

Sometimes it is reminder of past mistakes ,sometimes its fear of unknown. I like it best when its nothing in my mind. That's peaceful. 

There is always a longing inside me for something. Its like I want to move but stand still.

Its like I want change but happy with present life. I am not ready for anything to change. It affects me. Just the present is what I like.

I have fear that it is not sustainable but I am afraid to take chance towards change. 

Its like I want to improve myself but I don't want to do anything at the same time. 

I am ok where I am. I am ok with how life us. But I am not enjoying it at the same time.

I am satisfied but not satisfied.

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User Profile: CheeryMango
CheeryMango February 20th, 2025

It sounds like you're in a place of deep reflection, caught between contentment and the pull of something more. Growth often comes with uncertainty, and that can be uncomfortable. You might not need to rush into anything, but is there one small thing you can do that wouldn’t feel overwhelming yet still give you a sense of movement? 

1 reply
User Profile: FaithMonk9473
FaithMonk9473 OP February 21st, 2025

@CheeryMango

Thanks Cheery for your response. Yes I am self reflecting and nothing is coming out.

Thanks for validating that rushing is not good for me as of now when everything is uncertain.

To answer your question, I have few things in mind but I dont know if I will get satisfaction of movement. Maybe I am scared to move as well.

I have made it too complex.

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User Profile: n0tl1b3rty
n0tl1b3rty February 21st, 2025

This is incredibly relatable. I have been trying to change, for me and for people important to me. I was feeling okay with how life was, feeling as though change couldn't do much anyways, that there was nothing i could do to fix what was going on.

But the truth is, there's always something better. Even if you can't see it, even if you're okay with how life is, there is something worth improving that can being on so many other opportunities.

I also truly want to improve myself. There are many qualities that are hurtful to others, and in turn hurtful to me that I have neglected to focus on for a very long time. As much as i think change is unsustainable, living a life of immaturity and lack of empathy for others is even more unsustainable.

Lets get through this together!

User Profile: IlonaNur
IlonaNur February 21st, 2025

Small steps are still progress. Start small, so you can have some sense of movement. This will help you, so you can still feel safe and in control.