Animals are great teachers.
In a former career, I was a pet behaviourist. I learnt a lot about animal behaviour. And because humans are animals too, and every pet has a human owner, I learnt a lot about human behaviour too. And my own self, the most.
I thought a little mini series might be of interest. A series of posts of things I learnt from the animals and people I met.
I'll start with the most ironic thing I learnt. And that's this: It's all well and good knowing things in theory. It's a totally different thing to do it.
I learnt about attachment, communication, extinction bursts, learning theory, fear, aggression, anxiety and all. I taught owners how to apply this knowledge. Could I apply any of it to myself and my challenges?
Nope. When I first went to counselling, I was embarrassed to find myself there. I was even more embarrassed when the counsellor pointed out stuff I was doing that I knew was counter productive.
So the first lesson my work with animals taught me: We all need a bit of help, sometimes. Someone with an outside view point can be invaluable. Don't be afraid to ask for it.
And. Its one thing knowing what to do. Doing it is another thing entirely. This is for you if you have goals that you are struggling to achieve. It's OK to drop the ball occasionally. Please give yourself the grace I find I need to give myself more often.
Is there anything an animal or being around animals has taught you?
@Clio9876unconditional love and great thanks
i was always a dog guy - mom worked at the dog pound so I had a mini zoo throughout my childhood.
As an adult - three cats adopted me. I say this as they were strays that began ‘visiting’ my home. I never understood cats and had avoided them up until this situation. One cat became very close to me, for some strange reason - she was the most cantankerous! Never let me pick her up, walked passed me in the driveway like she didn’t know me, pee’d on all my clothes and shoes.
However, every night, on the nights she slept in the house, for some strange reason she would jump on my chest for 10 minutes to wish me good night and say thanks for letting me share some space and time. I think she was also saying - thanks for not changing me, for accepting me for what I am and what I do. Our mutual respect relationship came to an end when she was found by a neighbor, she was lying on the side of the road, 100 yards from my front door. I rushed home from work to find her in a cardboard box at the end of my driveway.
I never knew that an animal could be so fierce, so independent, so obnoxious, yet so thankful and appreciative of such a simple relationship. She lived on her terms, she shared time with others that she deemed worthy, she once stopped a car that she thought was driving too fast - I was collecting the mail at the time and she was worried about my safety! She looked out for me every time I collected the mail - a behavior I did not, at first realize she was doing until I described her habit of wrapping her tail around my leg as I stood there and she looked up and down the street.
Anyway, I only got 5 years with her and I miss her everyday! The problem is the relationship was the first time I understood true respect, admiration and love. love in a mutual acceptance way. Now the problem is it has created a lens through which I can critique past relationships and evaluate current ones- that’s a problem because since I now know what it’s supposed to be I see that I have never had that - and she’s gone. So now I have double unhappiness, the realization of past, and current, dysfunctional interactions. yIkes!
@Paulrm
She sounds one special cat!
I'm sorry for your loss and the way that you lost her. The suddenness and unexpectedness of a car accident make it extra traumatic, I think.
I believe that we grow through our relationships. And it sounds like the relationship with this cat helped you figure out what you want in future relationships. As knowing what you want is a step towards getting what you want, this cat may have opened up a path to greater life satisfaction.
Quite an amazing gift.
I understand that it might not feel that way right now. Its totally natural to regret what could have been. But I want to send you best wishes. I hope the relationship you wish for comes along soon.
@Clio9876
thank you for your recognition, I appreciate your understanding and thoughtful words.
@Clio9876 Words of wisdom indeed. God is nature, and nature is my God.
@Ashena
Thanks for your comment. I'm glad you liked it.