Birthday Blues and Gift Giving Issues with Family
What do you do when it's your mom's birthday and she's hard to please and buy gifts for. Like for example I went to a friend's house and brought out 2 birthday bags filled with toys because my friend likes those things. Mom saw this and got upset that I didn't buy her a ton of gifts. Just got her flowers, candy, cake and her favorite dinner. But she wanted more. I've known my mom my whole life but it's hard to buy her things. Not sure if she would like a particular piece of jewelry or what. I asked her well what do you want for your next BDay? She gets mad and says Nothing. So like wtf.... I just feel like a terrible daughter to my mom. And nothing I do for her is ever good enough. I just wish I could make her happier. I wanted to get her flowers and her favorite soda pop this weekend, but what if she doesn't like them..... it just has me all stressed out now.
@MyLittlePonyMetalhead
It is hard when a person is hard to buy for. Gifts can be hard as it is not the gift but the situation.
think back to all gifts you received, what were your favorites? a surprise you did not even know you wanted? perhaps something you have been wanting and a person bought for you?
In my case I often get items that seem to be a generic gift list..... It seems fine but to me but lacked the element of surprise or real thinking outside the normal. I feel bad for not being super grateful about the same thing spouse brought home for bday for last few years. Often bought on his way home which to me said it was more of a checklist item for him. Bought something society would think is loving......check . like it was just an obligation. so looking at the gift just *** me off.
It is a game with no winners as we want to be surprised but also the person to know us and know our preferences ... if we give a list of ideas to someone ..... it feels to me like we are putting in an order instead of them picking something because they just thought of us. which is what your gift to friend seemed like.
@MyLittlePonyMetalhead
Hey,
I can understand how frustrating it may feel to deal with a mother who gets angry when you directly ask about something she is upset about. Could finding a suitable time, sometime before her birthday, IE a few months before, help you resolve this? For example, you would start dropping hints to her, like 'hey, your birthday is coming up, what would you like?' or maybe ask others around you who have a different relationship with her, such as your father, her parents, her siblings, or her friends. It could really help you understand what she wants better and will make the present more meaningful or touching to her that you reached out to others to find out what she likes and has wanted. Hope this helps :)
Just wanted to let you know that i think you're far from being a terrible daughter. You are trying to connect with your mother, but she is not collaborating, and that's really frustrating. I'm sorry for that 🫂 I don't know what kind of gifts would make her happier, but you could try to think of doing something that would make her see that you care. Maybe a small gesture would make the difference. Best of luck 🩷
It's tough when you want to spoil someone but have no idea how it will be received. I confess I just fall back on gifts that were always acceptable. (Flowers/personally picked food hampers).
I ask if there is anything in mind? I try to pay attention if anything needs replacing.
I try to tell myself my heart is in the right place and it's not about these specific gifts but how I treat/spoil her all year around.
I've discovered that nice presents are more important than expensive ones after experience birthday gift disagreements with family. I always pick something personal, and Florys perfumes have proven to be one of my favourites as they are always cherished and feel special.
I am sorry to know this, how can you connect with me and share more
@MyLittlePonyMetalhead
You aren't a bad daughter. You seem to be trying to get her something she would like. The fact she isnt pleased with it isnt your fault. You are thinking of her on her birthday, and trying to show her love. The best part of a gift is knowing someone was thinking of you enough to get or make you something. If that value is lost on her you can't control that. I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. I wish you the best.
