Family of narcissists
Hello! I have a mom and sister who are narcissists, I stopped trying to have a relationship with my mother 6 years ago, jumping off the abuse cycle I had with her. I just realized last weekend I have the same cycle going on with my sister. After hearing her scream at my 24 year old daughter with Asperger’s the last two times I’ve been around her. And the usual *** that comes with the fact that my daughter and mother have the same birthday which to most grandmothers would be amazing. To my mom it’s been terrible because she steals attention from her. It’s been horrible trying to make them both happy for birthdays. My sister is just like mom but I’ve always given her grace because I know why she’s like that because of the abuse we. Have had to go through with our mom, and as adults my sister has had more extreme abuse even. But my sister- like my mom- refuses therapy or medications, any kind of help and I just can’t keep on the abuse cycle with her in my life anymore. She gets upset about something stupid and gets paranoid and just lashes out making up ridiculous lies and trying to get other people upset at me. It actually worked with my oldest daughter 2 years ago and she went no contact with me and took away my grandsons who I had had had every other weekend for 3 years and for 3 months during Covid lockdown. That almost killed me. I went into such a sever depression, it was like they died. And I didn’t do anything to deserve that. I was just this week finally able to talk to my oldest about what really happened and she apologized. I just can’t be involved with my sister. She’s too mentally I’ll. She finds great joy in trying to destroy my life and tearing up relationships. The problem is my brother is very mad at me. Especially about mom he thinks because mom is getting old and starting to have memory problems I need to suck it up and take the abuse. Invite everyone to everything and be miserable. He was never treated like my sister and I were. He’s the baby boy. It’s so hard to just give up my family. But after losing my grandsons the way I did, I feel like nothing can hurt me anymore. I’ve felt the worst pain. They can all leave and I will be fine. Why are narcissists so evil?
@MrsNeal617
You have done enough.... people are not more of a saint by taking abuse after abuse..... Many others are in your shoes.
"Family" is not a free pass to be abusive or trouble causers.
It is also IMO not healthy for you or your children or grand kids to be fake and go to things just because your mom is older. By smiling and pretending it is OK you are signaling you are OK with it. That is why they are so evil .. THEY often get away with it or excuses and enabling by others who think it is misunderstanding not purposeful manipulation like your sister did.
Do you want to think later in life .... when you are older your kids remember you wanted them to attend events with these narcissists.
I would cut ties with them all .. sooner or later they have to face their own actions and MANY do not because people are always there to enable and make excuses....
Yes it is sad that sometimes people find out just what they were when old and alone.... but that was their reward for being abusive....