Gloomy every morning for not having done enough in life

@lettherebelight1

I hear you. That is a lot of pressure that you are feeling. I can totally understand that it is difficult to get up in the morning, when faced with that kind of pressure.

I'm sad you feel that you are not doing enough. This is a painful feeling to have, as it goes right to the core. Its quite common to have this feeling that you need to do more. I struggle with it at times, too. The question is, is it helpful?

Who sets the target job role you need to achieve? Who tells you that you aren't good enough?

If this is making you unhappy, and risks the happiness of those close to you, is it a goal you want to pursue? Maybe a life goal in something other than job title might suit you, and thus your family, better?

I understand that you want to provide for your family. Its natural to want to give them the best. But if it is causing you lots of stress, such that it is making it difficult for you to provide what is needed, perhaps a different approach might be valid?

There's lots of possibilities out there. One that helped me is mindfulness, which is about living in the present and not constantly pushing yourself towards a future goal. Maybe you might find something in being mindfully present in your child's life for a few minutes everyday? But you will need to find what works for you.

A child is a big life change. It's natural to feel anxiety in the build up to that change. There's nothing wrong in feeling this way. You are important too.

Thank you for sharing.

Good day to you,

I recently have had a crippling depression that I did not think would get any better, but I then started to treat myself as a stock. My normal day start was phone coffee cigarettes vaping etc, which only made my days feel like they would never end. Recently, I decided to try starting the morning with a bottle of room temperature water. I will still vape and recently have chose this app to start with giving a positive message to someone, today you are that person! But I refuse the rest of the bad stuff until I have finished my water. It's not a thing that I really thought would do anything for my attitude, but after a week I am feeling so much better, I'm no longer feeling like I need to sleep till noon, my mind doesn't feel nearly as crammed as it did, I still have a flash of bad thoughts but once they come I drink more water and find something to occupy myself.

Congratulations on the new addition to the family, because of that little miracle you now have to think for the family and not just the self. The self thoughts should be focused more towards having 9 months to find a path that is meaningful and would make your family proud of you, the money will come later, so long as you stay focused. You could even take your current profession and evolve it to the next step, if you are good at food service, look for a new version of it that you have not tried yet, if you are good with concrete have you tried woodwork or refining metals?

I don't have experience in the parenting department so it's not my place to truly give advice, but we all seem to have forgotten that we were once kids ourselves so we have experience from their POV of what they like to dislike. Not suggesting the silver spoon upbringing, but seeing our parents struggling is what motivates us to want to help them.

Now, as your day ends today, try and take 2 glasses or bottles of water to bed, finish one before you go to sleep and keep one for the morning. As you drink your water, don't doom scroll the Internet, you can watch some TV (lately I have been watching good omens) whatever you think you would enjoy. And hopefully, you might find the peace you were looking for.

Best wishes with everything my friend, it's always darkest just before the dawn🌄