I just got dumped from a long-term relationship

@Frustratedfish

I am sorry no one responded yet it is hard to know what to say.... do you want closure ?

did he give a clue as to why he decided it was over?    7 years is a long time and when you felt it was progressing to marriage.  There is no one size fits all on how or why relationships fail.

@Frustratedfish

 I am sorry no one responded yet it is hard to know what to say.... do you want closure ?

did he give a clue as to why he decided it was over?    7 years is a long time and when you felt it was progressing to marriage.  There is no one size fits all on how or why relationships fail.

It sucks. Take your time to heal. You have to believe you are worth it and always aim for what you deserve

I wish I could tell you something to make the pain end. I can imagine it would sucks when things, with someone you feel deeply connected with, ends abruptly without any rhyme or reason. I hope that you don’t blame yourself and can maybe distract yourself a little with some or things you enjoy until the edge wears off some and you wade I to the feelings and start to process, let go, and inch forward 💙

@Frustratedfish 

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I am going through something very similar and I find that talking to someone who are just there to listen to you is very helpful. Keep reaching out to this community or to some trusted friends and just let them know that you need to them to listen for now since your emotions are still raw. I've also found some podcasts that help me get through the tough times. Jay Shetty is really good about self love and self worth. The other person's action or reaction does not determine your self worth. Take this time to work on yourself and find out what you want in life and what you enjoy. If emotions arise, let it, accept it and learn from it. This new part of your life is all about learning about yourself and reflecting on what you want and what you don't want. It's an adjustment for sure but I'm sure you'll be looking back in a years time and realize how much you've grown. :) Stay strong! We're all here for you!

@Frustratedfish I probably cannot understand what all you are going through right now but I know it's not easy to deal with such a breakup after a long relationship with someone you saw as your life partner. No words of mine can heal you or help alleviate the pain you are going through right now.

Sometimes people do stuff we never expected from them and life sucks. No motivation or inspiration helps at that moment. We just yearn to be with that person. I too am going through a similar situation. But there's one thing I have realized all this time and I want you too to remember. And that's no matter how people, even the most dear ones, treat you, it doesn't decide how precious you are to this world. Life does things we are unable to comprehend at that moment only to realize the reasoning later on.

I know it's hard. On some days maybe you won't think of him. On some days you would just keep longing for him. And that's indeed the process of healing. All of us here can be with you in your healing journey but I know in the end, it's you who has to go through the tedious process.

Moving on to someone else is never easy nor is rebound something I ever recommend. Rather starting does stuff that used to make you happy before you met him. We always lose a part of our identity when we enter a relationship because we change ourselves for the person we love. Going back to those little things and hobbies which made you happy might help you a bit.

Diverting your mind indeed helps for sometime. Going out to gym daily or joining new hobby classes can help. But ofc the loneliness at night haunt us. There's really no way to tackle it than to slowly start loving ourselves. We need to again start enjoying our own company. Going out for walks alone, going out to watch movies alone and maybe spending time with a pet is something I think helps a lot in the long term healing. Ofc spending more time with friends is important in the short term but for the long term healing, we need to get back to loving ourselves more than we loved our partner. There's always a part of you that will remember him. But soon enough, you will create more memories that his part in your life would become lesser and lesser important. 

I know it's hard to trust this right now. I too was like you few months ago. But trusting myself and practicing self love helped me a lot. Please don't be harsh on yourself, nor do EVER question yourself for what happened. Remember you are an innocent soul, who needs to pick herself up this time. Take care of yourself and please remember your self worth. Trust me, THIS TOO SHALL PASS. And I'm here if there's anything you wanna discuss more about. 

Thank you all so much. It’s now been a little over 3 weeks. I’ve gone to therapy and it really helped me see the insecurity and anxiety I’ve always had that was heavily activated in this relationship. So now I’ve decided to take this as an opportunity to work on myself. Many of your comments really touched me and I can feel all the kind intentions towards my situation. And for that I am truly thank you. I was very scared of being alone at first but now feel much more positive going into this new year and new journey:)

Sorry for what you are going through.

Try to remind yourself, THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

Be kind to yourself and stay strong Sister.