I messed up our anniversary dinner
How do I make up for putting together a kinda *** dinner date. I thought it was a nice restaurant and it turned out to be just a pizza place. I didn't have money and was waiting to get paid so I couldn't get her gifts prior to. And now she's *** and won't let me make it up to her. What can I do?
@PreppyPenguin808
sometimes events/ dates etc do not line up with payday and that happens to everyone... i can not tell you how many restaurants my partner and I have ended up at that were not what we expected and a big disappointment.....That is Life.
When we have had something like this happen i do not like partner bringing it up or saying let do this as a make-up ..... sometimes i would rather just move on with it and not be reminded by " making it up" .
Now if she is real upset or mad about the gift not there etc then you may have a problem of beyond one bad dinner date.
Greetings 7Cuppers,
My friend and I try different restaurants often. If it's a great one, we give kudos to the one who chose it/found it. If not so great, we laugh together and say not again for that one. But we don't accuse one another for a bad business choice. We do have a list of "not agains" and a list of "that was a great choice" restaurants.
Now to gifts, Here is what works for us. The bottom line is to get to know the person before gifting. Old story: A suitor bought me 2 dozen roses. You think I would be glad and happy about that gift. No so. I absolutely detest cut flowers for so many reasons. Stinky water. Throw away vases. Timely death of flowers. My current friend learned that I loved nature. Gives me potted plants and anything related to nature. Yes. This I like.
In short, that might be the missing link. There's not been enough time to get to know one another's wants, needs, or desires.
A letter of appreciation of your first year together--something she can keep and not expensive-- may have been a winner. But I wouldn't know, I'm just a girl.
Relationships are quirky. They change alot til you settle on one path, in my view. My religious view would be to pray about it and wait to hear the answer. Forgive me if this is not your inclination.
All the best to you and your journey.
LoyalDay
PS. Did you ask anyone who might know her? Did you look it up on the internet-- what to get after first year dating but have no money? Did you ask her?
@PreppyPenguin808 Tiger said what I was gonna say. I'll just add to not beat yourself up. A healthy relationship shouldn't be based on money and gifts. Just getting to spend time together is what's important.
I think more context needs to be given in this situation. have you talked to her about what to expect? did she show up with a gift not knowing u weren't going to have one? was she caught off guard.
I don't think it's about a gift, I think it's about feeling valued. there's always more to a story; was this a one off or a pattern ?
I would say that if the person judges you for where you take them, they might not be around you for the right reasons. Obviously take this with a grain of salt, as I do not know the situation, but if someone if genuinely interested in you for you, then they will likely forgive you for something like that. If the person is taking the time to be legitimately upset with you or make you feel culpable for trying to do something nice, then that could be a foreshadowing of things to come in a negative way. This advice isn't meant to be a downer, either, it's just to say be always mindful that someone you might think is really great might not always have your best intentions.
@Arekku97 *is genuinely interested not if, sorry
@PreppyPenguin808
If you come from the mentality that you have to impress the woman with fancy restaurants and gifts and so on then really you are fighting a losing battle
Women want a man they feel good being around. They have to see you as someone valuable. If you are trying to be valuable by buying your way then it doesn't work
Buy her roses with a gift 🎁 and surprise her to show her how generous you're. It matter's.
@PreppyPenguin808 If something as trifling as a bad dinner date is all it takes for your partner to act like you ruined everything, I can't help but wonder what you see in this woman...it sounds like she sees you as a walking ATM machine. But who knows? I could be wrong here.
@PreppyPenguin808. I don't mean to sound rude..I just don't understand why a pizza place would be a bad date?. I thought everyone enjoys pizza
I agree with what someone says that if your gf can get so easily upset over trivial things then make you should second-think about your relationship.
It's NEVER about the place or the food, it's about the attitude. You can enjoy anywhere and make it fun even at a roadside diner.
You can focus on something that is pleasing for you (and she could do the same) and enjoy the company and food as it is by expressing grateful and gratitude that you have food to eat.