I'm just a failure
I'm new to 7 cups. I'm going through depression. I'm 31 years old female but I haven't achieved anything in my life. I have no friends. No job. I'm just a failure.
Everyone is getting married. Everyone is getting successful in their life. Except me. I'm ashamed of myself. I feel guilty for not fighting for myself. I wonder if it's too late. I'm jealous of everyone who has it all. My mother lies to people about me. She tells them I'm doing WFH.
But in reality, I'm just hiding myself from the whole world. I'm obese too. One more reason to feel self hatred and shame. This is the lowest phase of my life. I don't want anyone to see me like this. The worst part? This is happening since last 4 years. I'm stuck here. Since forever.
@sensibleEyes1111 Let tell you one thing that is considered the most successful thing in the world: you are honest. Whatever you have in your life or didn't and now you come up here and tell the truth means you are trying. And trying is not failing, figuring out what mistakes you have done and wanting to make up for it is the first step you take towards your journey. As long as you are alive, and you are breathing, then you can start over and fresh, and begin your journey. Besides, many people who have bad experiences tend to hide out scared forever, but you are courageous. Sometimes it happens to the best of us, coming up here asking yourself for another chance is success. If you need a talk, I am here for you, just send me a message. I hope you the best :)
Hey 👋🏻
@sensibleEyes1111 i am 35, same here, but married, i dont even figure out how is it going to be in future
@sensibleEyes1111 no ones a failure. Not one single person. You are just searching for your place. When ypu start your new journey no one will be able to stop you. Take the first step and youll shine 🌟⭐️
@sensibleEyes1111 you are not alone there is always someone who would welcome you here
@sensibleEyes1111
I relate to this a lot, especially feeling stuck and like a failure lasting years. I'm sorry if this advice is way off base. Honestly for me those feelings always surface, I'm not even in a good spot right now- but life is good when there's a little reprieve from it, there's good moments at least- even though i'm not who i want to be- at least im trying, that counts for something and it's not the end.
Definitely give yourself some grace, you're not alone, everything is abruptly harder when you're an adult, making friends, meeting people, expectations that you should just know something out the womb.
Little wins help me, low risk impulsive actions that give me a little thrill, pride or human connection- like its fine if it goes wrong, you're getting practice\experience\a funny story\a break from being stuck.
examples:
Compliment a stranger, idk its nice will improve confidence and sometimes leads to a conversation, or if it's a style you like or something in particular they might offer some advice or kinship to help you feel better in your appearance\self- also you can walk away anytime lol
Walk to a shop (walking always makes me feel better\the only exercise i do) and buy something you've never bought before, out of character as you can get, and if your feeling up to it greet\chat with the casheer.
and a bigger step, join a community\ group\ class\ convention that interests you, learning a new skill can be so gratifying when self-esteem is low
etc check out a library\community centre, nerdy conventions, sewing or cooking class, going to a pub\bar during a sports game, live music, or maybe a sponsored walk\walking group
or even sharing your feelings on here is a step, your a part of this world, you should feel proud and you made me feel less alone 💛
You are not late for something Eyes, i can feel you. From today even with 15 minutes in a day just doing a thing to improve you. And marriage or high academy success are not always happiness. You can. You should try❤️
@sensibleEyes1111
Damn I sure do feel that. I'm basically in the same situation I've been living with my mother my entire life though given that we are best friends and she does help a lot with things that I need for daily life given that I have a physical disability that blocks me from doing certain things. But I've been trying to get work online or work from home jobs for over 2 years now searching on the internet and in person this establishments near me and nothing has worked out at all I only have a volunteer position on this website actually that we're speaking on right now and no idea how to do anything else but I do have a lot of ideas and things that can help other people though. Just don't know how to help myself which sucks kind of the same as your situation. :-( but I will be here to chat if you want to
I know it feels hopeless but one day a good man will come into ur life get married and live a happy life tgh. Please dont give up on urself.
