Need your perspectives

I'll try to make my story short, I tried to ask another friend for their opinion and I ended typing up 2.5 pages in Word and sent her as PDF in email.

I'm a female, turning 40 next January. Haven't dated the past 20 years, and I changed my career and workplace last year. I started working at a different hospital in May 2025, and finally felt my career is back on track, being able to do two careers at a time, of which I'm passionate for. It was a dream come true for me. So, starting work at this new hospital, in my department, on the Management Team, aside from the 2 Supervisors, and a Manager, there are also three other RN's on the team. One of the male RN's, since I started last year, I felt we could become good friends. My part-time line, is from Thursday to Sunday. I only saw him on my Saturday shift, over the first few months, I arrived an hour earlier before my shift and chatted with him. He made me feel very comfortable, even when I talked about my depression and he was very understanding.

I saw him as a friend, in my life, I was desperate to make a good best friend, and have always wanted to find my life partner. I felt that with my career finally getting back on track, I'm ready for both. But like I said, I only saw him as a friend. Over the past year and 5 months, I only took him out to eat at a Korean Restaurant that was my favourite place to eat once. Just wanted to grab a bite after a shift together.

Then, last week, I asked him if he could give me a brief lesson on investing. As I know he was forced to move out on his own and manage his own finances at a young age. He agreed, and since he also works two jobs and doesn't really have time to rest. He ended up asking me to go to his place the past Sunday to give me the lesson. Sunday is my only day off, as I'm also currently working two jobs, six days a week for three months. 

Long story short, I never caught on any clue that he was interested in me. Sitting on the couch, he has his air conditioning on (he says he likes it cool), he began to cuddle and smell my hair. I thought as friends, cuddling, was just to keep each other warm. Like I said, I haven't dated for the past 20 years, I was clueless to what was happening. Next thing I knew, I felt a kiss on my ear, then, he asked me for permission for a kiss. I said no to the kiss. I arrived at his place around 5:15pm for the lesson, and I had left by 8:30pm. Then, he called in sick for work the past two days. Did I break his heart for saying no to the kiss?

I just feel that at my age, I want to be sure of the guy before I decide to change a friendship status to something romantic. He's 7 years my junior, but mature for his age. I just never saw any of it coming, as I see him as someone who could become a good friend of mine. I tried asking him about it when I got home Sunday night, but he dodged to answer and only said he hoped I learned something about investing, and that I can ask him for help when I want to try using the App he recommended. 

I feel I don't know him well enough yet, to know whether or not I'd want to try dating him. I just know that I want us to be friends, whether or not that will develop into something else in the future, I'd like to keep it open. It felt like everything was skipped, I'm more old-schooled and traditional way of thinking. Like, shouldn't we at least confirm a gf/bf status first before a kiss? We haven't even gone on any real dates. Or is this like a generation gap? Any thoughts?