Uncertain
Hello 30s!
I am 36 years old but I'm feeling like a late bloomer. A lot of regrets, hang-ups, not financially stable, no own family yet. What am I doing in the past 2 decades since I graduated? A lot of questions comes into my mind when I'll be alone.
Now, I'm thinking starting an own family is good but will I be a good mother or wife inspite of my weaknesses and capacities?
People in my place keep telling I have to have a boyfriend and be married so I can have an own family. I said to myself it's too late.
32 here and I also feel like a late bloomer. Never had a real career (just a string of low-wage, short-term jobs punctuated by long periods of unemployment), no stable housing (still bouncing between cheap shabby "college student" apartments), and only once had a serious romantic relationship, which ended 4 years ago.
Here's the thing: everyone's life has its own trajectory and moves at a different speed. It doesn't make sense to compare your life milestones to anyone else's. So what if you start a family later in life than other people did? It will still mean just as much to you. In fact, thr advantage of going into it later is that you're wiser and have more life experience so you might be able to approach it in a healthier way than if you had rushed into it earlier.
It’s never too late. There's still plenty of life ahead of you.
Also, think about what occupied your life instead of those traditional milestones. Those things have their own value too! E. g. you probably put more energy into your friendships than people with spouses and kids are able to, building a stronger support network for yourself. Or maybe you invested more time into hobbies and developed special skills that will stay with you. For me, even my chronic job switching has a silver lining: I've learned a really broad range of skills from all the different types of work that I've tried. Try to appreciate and be grateful for what your "non traditional" experiences have given you the chance to learn or build, things that "early bloomers" might have missed out on.
Wishing you lots of luck in moving your life in the direction you want! There's always room for change, just take it one little step at a time!
@boltzmannentropy
Oh, we're on thesame page. When I was at your age, I felt thesame. I was lost, but I didn't make any changes, maybe I tried at first but won't last coz I was not motivated. Also, we had family issues, now it's seems a new chapter for me alone.
I have these dreams in my dreams in my mind, not just for me but for the people I cared about but I'm so negative to start from scratch in building those dreams.
Every journey has to start somewhere! I like to focus just on the next smallest step I can take toward my dreams.
@boltzmannentropy Hey I'm wondering why I wasn't able to reply you, I typed a lot from the past hours but just found out now, I wasn't able to send it 😅.
Now, I forgot what I typed 😄. But anyways, thank you soo much for your long and very heartfelt message. I'm happy that I'm not alone, we have same feeling. Like time is so fast but we, we're like crawling and wanting back our younger years so we can be successful at younger age.
But yeah you're right, we have different time line, no comparison needed and what we have to do is to not afraid to start something new now. Everyday is a new chance to make our life brighter.
Have a great day ahead 😊
I'm in my 30s too. And I feel all these. Although I'm married, I do have uncertainties and fears. You are not alone 🫂
@FireFly1892 thank you soo much. We are in this together.
Don't do it just because people are saying so. If you want your life that way, live it that way
@EmpatheticStranger007 Yes absolutely but for me, it's really pressuring
Speaking as a person in their late 30s, getting out of a toxic marriage, and now a single parent, I can honestly say the grass is not always greener with marriage and kids. Each stage of life comes with it's challenges. I miss the freedom and independence I had before I had kids. I love my kids, but there is a lot I have had to sacrifice. Happiness has to come from within....it should never be dependant on other people. Children are expensive and require so much sacrifice. Focus on self love and doing the things you enjoy. Focus on hobbies, self care, etc. The beauty of life is discovering who your truly are, and to love yourself.
@Wpdillon wow different perspective, I hope we both feeling better. Thanks for giving your insights on just loving self first.
@Uncertain20
I get it. I'm in the same exact place. Graduated a long time ago, now stuck in limbo, jobless, no relationship. Right back where i started 30 some years ago living with my parents.
Just trying to get some other point of view to maybe to ignite an idea or something. But there are always prospects. Always stuff on the horizon. Dont know if that helps at all, hope it does.
@intellectualWater7449 Yeah, same feeling. But we need to move forward and be our from our comfort zone. Hope we can have a brighter future soon.
@Uncertain20
It's never to late and I totally understand what you mean and hear you I am age 43 and My past was a outstanding life from 2013 to 2018 but now has changed and fine myself to alone at times Being alone is very hard for me and I struggle with it and it's hard when all of my co workers are able to go home to someone Keep believing in yourself and it's outstanding that you were able to graduate!!!! Hope you have an Outstanding and Great day today
@Kully oh I can relate. Do you consider yourself as Single forever?
@Uncertain20
Thanks for the reply I really hope to find someone
Hey!
It’s definitely not too late. My wife and I both met each other in our 30s…
… on the flipside of that… finding a good partner is better and more important than just finding any partner.
@IveGoneByManyNames You're absolutely right, finding a good partner are the correct words
@Uncertain20I completely understand that. I am 37 years old and will turn 38. However, just do what you think is best and you will be fine. You got this!
@SpongeBob333 our age is quite thesame and feel relieved that I'm not alone, struggling with this kind of feeling. Thanks
@Uncertain20 nothing wrong with that. Not telling you how to feel. I am a late bloomer myself, so I can understand for sure. Hey, just love yourself for sure and things will work out.
@SpongeBob333 thanks for making me feel better, hope we can connect 1 on 1.
@Uncertain20 I'm sorry I had missed your post and of course
@Uncertain20 It is never too late to start a family of your own making. It can look like whatever you want it to look like. I waited til I was 44 to get married.
@blitheFish5237 But are you male or female? Coz for me as female, I think it's too late especially when you are aiming to be pregnant and can have an own family 😕
