Why do I keep messing up?
I'm a dad, I'm a grown man.. I'm supposed to have outgrown my crazy 20s...yet alcohol still leads to drugs, and partying and f##king up my relationship and my life. I'm one bad decision from losing it all. My wife and child or my job or both. Yet I keep living on the edge. Wtf do I do
Title edited Dec 3, 2022 by AffyAvo for graphic language, see community guidelines (titles guidelines are stricter than posts)
@joejoeb
i often wondered as i see others around me do this ... but i just realized i am doing it on small scale myself ....Each person has their OWN reason in my mind to self sabotage....
maybe you deep down are not happy with your life ... sure on paper and surface all is good a marriage and kids perhaps a good job ...... but you feel empty and think something else is out there starts innocently maybe a few drinks or something to feel something or mask the empty feeling..... you might feel guilty that you are not fulfilled.... you might not even be able to put your finger on your why but you are not alone
I’m here if you want to talk. I know what you’re going through and it’s self sabotage for sure.
@joejoeb
There could any number of reason as to why you do this. You don't think you deserve the happy family and decent job, you are not content with it, you think you are supposed to want it more than you actually do and that makes you panic and fall into old habits of escapism.
They call having a family and having a job being an adult-but it's really not. It's just a certain type of adult and that might not be the type you want to be or are ready to be right now. Unfortunately, the kid(s) is already there and you can't just hit the pause button on that until you are ready to jump into fully.
You are going to have to figure out who is more important. All kids are different. For some, all it takes is a couple bad years to screw a kid up. They are really need stability. Some can thrive on the chaos. You can't tell which a kid is until they are older and it's too late. Just remember-the kid didn't ask to be here. He or she is your responsibility. If you are okay with shrugging that off and thinking about yourself, then screw it-Lose the job and forget the family.
What kind of person do you want to be? Just set your priorities and make your peace with it. Some reserve the partying for special events only or keep it a once a month deal. They also have a friend keep them from going overboard. Some know that they can't handle drinking and partying without going overboard and risking everything, so they steer clear of it all.
You have to know yourself and your limits before you decide on that.
It's alright to party occasionally but it's to a point where it is affecting you're life then it sounds like self discipline should be in order. Try to bond with your wife and kids. Save that money on making memories with traveling or camping. Having fun doesn't need to be drugs, partying and alcohol. A father is the foundation of his family and the children are observing, this is whether a man likes it or not. You can fix your priorities when you realize you can lose it all.