Better out than in
I’m new here, not sure how it all works but figured I am just going to say exactly how I am feeling right now. Things that should bother me dont... lying partner, state lockdown, unfulfilling work life etc. What does bother me is that I feel sick and lonely. I have had constant pain and nausea for a week (doctor said probably gastro) all tests came back normal so could the nausea be a new kind of anxiety that I thought I had control of over the years? I’m also terribly lonely to the point where I contacted a medium (I know very stupid. I was a non believer for a long time then had a reading that changed everything I thought... anyway that was 10+ years ago). A medium was recommended so I contacted them, just to know my nan or baby or animals are still with me... well two rescheduled appointments and a refund later no one came through for me. Not one single person, not even some long ago ancestor. I know I should just think “well that guy was a con man and couldnt really connect to anyone” but instead all I could think was that I really am alone. I am alone in this life and even in the afterlife no one cared. Yes I really do know that I shouldnt let that bother me and most likely any kind of so called medium is full of ****. I honestly am so aware of that but just hearing it, whether it was true or not was so upsetting. I am alone. Anyway I am nauseous and tired and finding very little to cling to to make me feel less pathetic. Thats just it though... I am pathetic, alone, confused and very tired. Well that was a long rant... for anyone reading this sorry! I just thought it was better to get out than to keep it in.
I'm glad you reached out and shared how you're feeling and doing. It's really hard feeling alone. I guarantee you that you're not the only person struggling with feeling alone, the pandemic has been hard on so many people. People need connection with others. Besides connection with others, what else are you needing right now? Or is that the only need that you feel is lacking in your life right now?
Thankyou for your reply @creativeSail3749 Do you ever just get that ‘lonely’ feeling? Where even those that you know wouldnt understand if you were to say you were feeling down or lonely. I think I got scared when I got sick as I was sick many many years ago and I was ready to end it as I couldnt take the illness any longer, I guess with some of the symptoms coming back I went back in to that mind set? I dont know. I have generalised anxiety disorder so sometimes maybe thats it? But overall I think it is just the sense of lonliness that I am feeling, even before lockdown I felt alone. Thankyou again for your reply. I hope you are doing well.
You're welcome.
I have felt like that in the past, I've struggled with depression and anxiety in the past. It's a really difficult and painful feeling, feeling like we're all alone and nobody understands or would understand.
What you went through with your illness sounds very difficult. It sounds like you got really close to reaching your breaking point with your illness, I'm glad you didn't take your life and I'm glad you're reaching out for help now so you don't get to that point again. You having similar or the same symptoms can definitely, and did, trigger memories and emotions from your past. Try to remind yourself that those things are in the past and now things are different, you have sources of support now that you didn't have before.
Generalized anxiety disorder is very isolating because it's so hard and so scary reaching out to others. It seems like you feel safe reaching out and connecting with people over the internet though, do you feel comfortable making friends with people online so you have people to connect with and reach out to when you're feeling lonely? Do you think having friends online would help you feel less lonely?
I'm doing well. Thank you
Hello,
I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling with health problems and I completely understand you. I have the same problem that you do and it feels horrible. I also suffer from major depression, anxiety disorder and other health problems and trust me I don’t know if it’s the pain you are going through that makes you feel lonely or what it is. I also talk to my doctor all the time of how I’m feeling and they even do many tests on me and all of them come back normal not sure why. Well honestly something is definitely going on with us because to me it’s not normal that you all of the sudden start to feel like nobody understands you. I also at some point contact medium and I think I still do. I just want to know what is happening with my life, or if theirs a way that my own husband is cheating on me, or does someone actually love me. And you know what this pandemic we are all going through has made my life even worse each and every day not being able to be normal like we were before sometimes I just want to scream and see if that will help me feel a little better. Right now I’m even to the point of saying what is the point of being here if nobody cares about me. I do have a lot of family I also have kids, but none of them care. All of them are so busy to even talk to me this is the reason why I decided to come here but sometimes I just feel like this site is not even helpful since their is no listeners to actually be there for you. I know a lot of us have busy life but not as busy to reach out to someone that needs it. If you don’t mind me asking are you still struggling with the loneliness, if you have depression or anything else. I will appreciate if you share it with me and see if it helps me to because it’s really hard for me right now to.