Confused Relationships
Met a longtime friend and have been talking online for a few weeks. Talks are getting interesting. I have already built my family and life with someone else. We have a home, kids, cars, pets, etc. I’m now questioning all decisions I have made up until now. Want to go and want to stay. Want to come out with it but also want to keep things the way they are. Realizing I can’t have it both ways and will eventually need to make a move. Neither of us is ready. It feels like cheating but we never did anything in-person. My body is in one place while my heart is in another. I’m so confused.
@RedRed81
Hello, the say that your neighbors grass awlays looks greener. The fist stage of a new relationship will always feel more interesting than one more chapter of the already known current relationship. You talk about "living" (not loving) with someone, about home, cars, pets and kids. You also seems to consider that you are already cheating inside in your heart, maybe your inner values consider it unnapropiate.
And you seem to have get to the conclussion that there is no way to have an "interesting" relation and your "current" relation at the same time. Is it impossible?
Some people do great effords to get their relations interesting again, some fail at it, others get success.
Some people do cheat. Some couples manage to have a somewhat a decent relation and allow the other part to cheat while they meet some basic requirements.
Some people do have opens relations, and sexual freedom is not considered cheating.
Some people divorce having a decent relation with their ex couples, then search for new relations or stay single.
I wish you to find your way and I wish you to solve this without hurting that much other humans beings.
Hugs. =)
I understand your confusion. I myself have been in a similar situation. I am married but....
I am still in contact with several of my ex girlfriends and we have occasional very flirtatious messages. ( Nothing too sexual, but lots of inuendo and reminiscing of our naughty times :) )
It has led me to believe I've made the wrong decision's!!
However, I love my wife and she loves me......so the key to this is communication with your partner!!
( You don't need to tell him about the messages or feelings for somebody else) but you need to find what you are missing in the relationship and talk to them about it.
Good luck
@RedRed81
from an evolutionary perspective men who has had most surviving and procreating offspring are men who to wanted to procreate with several women. So id say its your genes who are playing you a trick. I do feel sorry for your family since they would all probably be very negatively affected if youd hurt their mom and focused on some other woman instead of the. so if you think bout how you focusing on this woman would hurt your kids, what would you choose?