Feeling “Behind”

Hey all! I joined over a year ago but haven’t been active, but now I want to use 7 Cups to supplement the time in between therapy sessions. So, hi...again :) I am a female. I suffer from major depression and generalized anxiety. I am also bisexual. I turn 34 this week, and lately I’ve been feeling like I’m lacking in the “adulting” department. In Oct ‘19, I quit my job as a surgical dental assistant. It paid well for me, but it was very toxic to my mental health. I had about a month off before I found another job ( had savings in case ) The new position I accepted in a new field lost me about $15k/yr. I’m a lot happier, but have less to work with financially. My now-fiancée proposed this Oct ‘20. I told her I want to start setting money back to be able to look for houses in summer ‘22. But...she’s horrible with money. She spends it on take out, nicotine, medicine and random stuff. She makes more than me hourly yet she is “never able to save”. I had her savings in a separate part of my account and when I transferred it back to her a few months ago, I’m pretty sure she spent it all. I want to buy a house. I want to have a savings. I want assets and to be able to do whatever I want to the place I live in and have more pets and a garden and...not rent. I want to go on vacations when Covid is better, and know that if a car breaks down we don’t have to go into debt to get it fixed. But I feel like I’m so far from achieving it unless I do it on my own. Because I don’t want to work to save my personal money to buy a house that we should have BOTH put effort into purchasing TOGETHER. Also, her credit score is atrocious. It just makes me feel very alone in this, somewhat disrespected and just...sad. I thought I’d be further in life at this age. And Covid already took a lot of the excitement of the engagement away from me. But even with that: how will we afford a wedding down the road? Her finances are stressing me OUT and I’m unsure where to go from here...