Finding myself feeling sad about the guy again and wanting to text him.
Hello :(( As some of you may know from my last threads/ posts I was writing on here about the guy that I recently ended friendship with because of how he treated me in only under month of knowing me. I am missing him again right now and want to text him so bad. I don’t know what to do. This is my second time finding myself missing him and feeling super emotional about it. I feel like crying. If anybody would like to give some advice please feel free to do so, because that would help me alot, thank you.
@strwberryhearts Hi. Sweetie what are you inviting in? This may feel like it’s going to satisfy your loneliness. It probably will for a short period of time. Do you, really think it will end up different?
@helpfulAvocado7912 Hello, and yeah that’s true I don’t think it would end differently because he’ll probably just say the same stuff to me again and waste my time again by leading me on and just keeping me around for his convenience/ making me feel like a second choice. But I miss talking to him it’s been really hard for me :(
@strwberryhearts Of course. I understand. One way to manage strong feelings is to try and be with them. Try to think of them as impersonal phenomenon. When the weather is bad outside, we don’t say, that is my weather, it is making me uncomfortable, I must change it. Our feelings are like the weather. Sometimes we have good inner weather, sometimes stormy weather. We try to distract ourselves from that bad weather. And distraction is not necessary bad. Sometimes we that is all we can do. But when we know that a particular distraction might end up hurting us, we can choose other distractions. Another way might be to say, hey it’s raining, I’m just going to watch the rain for awhile. You might watch your feelings right now for a bit. You might also ask your feelings what they really want. Maybe your wanting to talk to him is that you just want to hear a supportive voice telling you you’re special. There are ways we can at least partially sooth our own needs instead of having someone else do this for us. Of course, you’ve been doing this already. Sometimes we need a friend to talk to or a half pint of ice cream or Netflix, or just a warm bath. Or 7 Cups. You’re doing all the right things, and we are here to distract you, or tell you stories, or go on and on about how feelings are like weather. ❤️ Stay strong! 😊
@helpfulAvocado... I appreciate and agreed on those suggestions 😊
@helpfulAvocado7912 I agree with you, I shouldn’t go back to someone who has already hurt me just because I miss them and want to talk to them again because it will probably end the same way. And will mess up my mental health again. He won’t be a distraction though, it’s just me missing talking to him and stuff :((
Hey @strwberryhearts
Glad you came back feeling this way, I will reassure you that I have read all you have shared and in my humble opinion I believe you are doing the right thing by moving on from him… you definitely have strong feelings and connection towards this person which makes it difficult but you just need to put yourself out there and find a better person for you that treats you with respect and wants the same things in a relationship…. So stay strong and keep moving forward and he will be a distant memory before too long 🙏
@Insertnamehere82 Hi, thank you so much. I really
appreciate that 🤧🤍 I hope that I can move forward and and not think about texting him because it will only hurt me more and affect my mental health. I find myself sitting thinking about him and thinking to text him so badly.
Totally understand and I’m sure you will meet someone else that makes you happy and it will put all this in perspective and you will look back and be grateful that he let you go and it was actually a gift and lead to your happiness 🙂
@Insertnamehere82 Thank you so much and yes I hope so 🥺🤍 I just miss talking to him from time to time. I was the one who ended the friendship btw because at first he started off being nice but then started showing his true colors I guess and then called me a b*tch and said I was annoying and stuff/ talked about my mental breakdowns etc. I ended the friendship before I even started getting really attached to this guy because it would of only hurted me more in the end and drained my mental health more.
Yes, I remember that you ended it, and you did the right thing by ending it imho and although difficult, trying to move on is best way forward because you need more supportive and understanding people in your life and it’s clear that this person isn’t able to be that for you. You will be okay… time heals. Try to focus on the things that you can control and will ultimately move you forward in the direction that you want to go 🙏. Keep talking through your feelings and always feel free to come back as you have and talk though it here with all the supportive people that are replying and wanting to help you through 😊
@Insertnamehere82 Thank you very much, I appreciate that alot 🤍 I hope so too :( And okay I will continue to talk about how I’m feeling more. 🤍
@strwberryhearts
It seems you are Emotionally attached to him and he seems not. That is why you might be missing him.
@strwberryhearts which kind of movie genre you like ?
@RHassan Hmm, that’s a real hard question, I like all kinds of movies it depends, wbu? 😆
@strwberryhearts do you know about Brooklyn 99 ? Its a good watch
@RHassan No not that I’ve heard of, I’ll have to check it out.
Hii, it's okay to miss him and feel sad.. but if he doesn't treats you right when you talk to him, then messaging him will only increase pain and heartache. Right down somewhere what you want to tell him or talk to friends and him or anything else. Watch show ,read a book or go out again, feelings you are feeling will pass and you will feel better. Take care of yourself
@selfdisciplinedSpring7446 Hello, I appreciate your advice :) I will try to do that and see if that helps me. 🤍
I'm kinda going through the same thing. Éxcept me and my guy have been talking for more than 6 months and he's pulling away now. But as for your situation I say do ont rush n to it. Because he could turn out to be a bad guy
@positiveRiver9935 Hi, I’m sorry to hear that :( situations like these can be very complicated and confusing. That is how I felt every time when talking to the guy I was friends with. I don’t want to be confused or have to question what’s going on between us. I want someone who knows what they want and to not someone who just messes around with everyone’s feelings and make me feel like I’m just there for their liking or to be a second choice. And yes that is true, at first me and the guy I agreed to date him, but the first day I called it off because it simply didn’t feel right and that things were being rushed. I told him that I wanted to get to know him more first, be friends first because we had just started talking a few days back. Fast forward to this month, I ended our friendship a few days ago because he had disrespected me and called me names. He called me unintelligent, annoying, he called me a b*tch, called me stupid, and stuff like that. Talked about my mental breakdowns but then told me I need to be more open with him? Like why? After all that stuff he said, how am I supposed to be open with him or trust him. Then he was showing signs of being a player. But he said he wasn’t a player. One minute he was so into me like he “loved me” how could he love me when we had just started talking? To me, that was also a red flag. Then asked me for nudes and wouldn’t respect my answer, which was no. One time he got mad that I wouldn’t send him inappropriate pictures and then told me he was going to bed. Then another time, when I didn’t go to sleep when he told me to go to sleep, he told me that he was gonna go find somebody to sleep with? 💀 I’m glad that I didn’t get into relationship with him/ stopped it before I got attached and started putting my all into a relationship with him because he would of ended up hurting me. Because he showed me his true colors in only a little amount of days/ half of month of knowing eachother.
Also, I hope you and the guy you are talking to discuss things and talk it out, especially if you like him alot and want to move forward with him. I would say to ask him why has he been pushing away or either express how it makes you feel, tell him that you feel like he has been distant and you wanna know why.
Hi, try to keep yourself aware of why you ended the friendship in the first place. As you said, he didn't treat you the way you needed to in the friendship, It's okay to end relationships if it doesn't serve you.
What makes you miss him right now? Is it his personality or is it the presence of a friend? Or something else?
@Jvliahope8 You are completely right. I think about texting him but then I remember why I ended the friendship with him. I ask myself, do I want to go through that again? Do I want to let him waste my time again?
And it’s both kind of, I just miss him in general, the way he was there to talk, he made time for me, seemed like he cared about me (I don’t believe that though). But then again, I remember the stuff he said to me which makes me don’t want to message him…
I genuinely liked him and wanted to get to know him better but he ended up showing his true colors which is a good thing because it hurts less rather than being in relationship and then finding out how he really was. If that makes sense.
@strwberryhearts
I wouldn't give into temptation. I fully understand the feeling of missing someone but remember why you ended that friendship and why he isn't good to have in your life
@tealLion9329 Yes I agree, thank you so much. 🤍
It seems you are Emotionally attached to him and he seems not. That is why you might be missing him.
@sweetWriting46 I don’t really know, I don’t know how I feel because we only knew eachother for a few weeks/ half a month, I wouldn’t say I am emotionally attached to him because I don’t feel like I am or wasn’t affected by the end of friendship because of all the stuff he said to me. I wasn’t attached to him but if I stayed any longer in that situation, I would of gotten attached and then end up getting heartbroken in the end because I liked him but he was basically keeping me around for his liking and just to be a second choice etc I think. Not letting me know stuff, telling me not to worry about it, messing with my feelings when he knew he didn’t feel the same. Apologies if I’m not making any sense.
