Looking to Discuss The Therapy Session I had today.
For context I am a 36 year old man in Philadelphia.
Had therapy yesterday. Feel sort of distressed right now and may take sick day tomorrow. Scheduled with therapist for next week instead of in two weeks.
What started the below is telling him Ive given up hope on ever reaching my career and life goals at the beginning of our session today.
He told me:
My problem is that Ive been unhappy and that marriage and career dont fix that. The problem is the unhappiness. I need to be thinking about this problem and its new definition.
Its not that there is something wrong with me but I was mentally injured as a child and haven't been a happy adult.
My therapist said he did feel rejuvenated that we are here and that I am going to try this approach throughout the week. He had been waiting for me to get here for years. Ive seen him for 7.5 years.
I do feel being in love would make me happier but I also think it would benefit me to try this.
I dont like my feelings being dismissed, I would he happier being in a loving relationship. I actually do not want to be happy if I live my entire life without a family. Its not something I am interested in and I have a right to feel that way. It frustrates me that people say that is wrong or that I cant be in a relationship if I feel that way.
@sincereBanana302
I'm sorry you felt dismissed 💛
Your feelings are valid.
You deserve to dream of being happy and in a relationship.
And to desire love, affection and connection.
These things are possible, it's about putting the work on now to heal and to work on you so you have these things to offer to another person 💛
@Amanda84
Thank you. I am trying. I will work on it.
@sincereBanana302
It is hard to be challenged in our thoughts or vision. I feel what happened was more of a challenge then dismissing your feelings.
In a way therapist is right, a job or relationship does not fix unhappy... it can mask it but does not fix things. I also know even being told that does not encourage you to rethink the situation or examine things differently. When we feel our vision is dismissed some anchor themselves to refuse to see anything differently. I found from own experience and observations in any challenge people change their lives on their own terms... the key is time passing does not wait for us to act.
Example: people who chose to quit smoking/ drinking etc. do best when it is THEIR choice not being told to do it... or people either embrace their career path or make big changes not from others suggestion, but when they decide.
IMO our attitude / mood or finding balance draws people to us. Maybe someone in your life would help but few are drawn to someone always unhappy.
@toughTiger6481
You are right and I am going to try to fix my internal unhappiness. I made a list of things I am proud of. I know its important for me to address that.
@sincereBanana302
I don't like your therapist either. As an up and down girl, I really disgusting with someone who talked like I'm their the one 😭 yeah, maybe in some situation, I can be the one but don't talk like I'm their only one in their life. Before me, what did they do?
