My husband feels that I insult him
I was told that I talk to my husband the way my whole family talks to one another; which is kind of rude, we have to be right, we question the experts, and we tend to really tear someone’s argument apart.
I never knew I did this! I definitely would never have intended to do it to the man I love the most.
my question is: how do you make up for something like this? We’ve been married for 21 years for goodness sake! He’s never told me before
@placidBlueberry2417 Thank him and perhaps look into something like mindfulness practice. See a therapist to get guidance on making personal changes. You can’t undo what you have done but the best way to make up for it is to show you are open to change. Your life has the potential to become so much richer and your relationship so much stronger. I’m not just spouting positive BS, I honestly believe you’ve been given a wonderful gift.
@placidBlueberry2417
That seems like a long time to wait to bring that up. my spouse and i have had good debates and similar like you have said i tend to prove my point ...... it was only after he was on losing end for a great deal of time that he started complaining about the manner of discussion.
It is a hard habit to break but i find not responding quickly gives me time to not come back in debate mode.
People are apparently pretty motivated to “win” in their arguments. They can pursue the “win” without knowing how damaging it is. It’s a pretty common human tendency. I found this book amazing for healing my relationships. “Feeling Good Together” by Dr. David Burns.
