My mark on the wall of woe

I have never really understood all of the, I was here, tags I’ve seen throughout my life. However, in this case I wanted to make an exception.
I’ve reached the point that I don’t understand how to make friends. The whole process seems overly complex, demanding and mentally draining.
I decided if I can’t make a friend that would listen, I would just have to pay someone to listen to me.
This is how it went.
Scan.
Find keyword.
Make textbook response.
Ignore all explanations, literary devices, and surrounding sentences.
The phrase that comes to mind would be gas station sushi. However, I would bet there is a gas station out there that has great sushi, as long as it’s cooked, not raw. So gas station vending machine sashimi seems more appropriate.
Common sense, intuition and multiple jokes tell you it’s a bad idea, but you go for it anyways. I guess sometimes induced idiocy just makes life more interesting.