New here and trying to learn all is this

Hi... I'm Lelu... I'm 41 years old and hoping not only to get some help here with my issues but to also help others with theirs... I'm pretty much an open book. Honestly, used to not be. But, I guess I've gotten to the point to where I Almost don't really care what anyone thinks about me anymore. It was so exhausting when I thought I didn't but I guess I actually did. I've been in and out of therapy for many years and I've had a couple of good ones but honestly mostly ones that just sat there looking blankly at me but saying anything back to me. That always just upset me more, I mean really, what was the point? I'm giving this a try and really hoping it helps.