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Scared to Trust

User Profile: neatBlueberry5213
neatBlueberry5213 June 10th, 2023

My best friend of 8 years, who I was my genuine self with and trusted my secrets/struggles to, dropped me when she got a new boyfriend a few months ago. She sent me a voice memo telling me I was needy, demanding, and too much work. She also said she had wanted to drop my friendship for over a year and had only been appeasing me with the special trips we had taken together, the concert we attended, and phone call 'dates' we had to catch up on our lives.

I don't let people in easily and it takes me years to be vulnerable enough to be who I really am with someone so knowing her bitterness and resentment has been festering for over a year and she didn't communicate anything to me is so hurtful. :(

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User Profile: Optimisticempath
Optimisticempath June 10th, 2023

@neatBlueberry5213

oh that hurts terribly :( i know it does and you didn't deserve that at all :/ I wish your friend knew better :(

please take your time to grieve the loss of your friendship and allow your feelings to be felt by you <3

when trust is broken so horribly it is natural to feel scared to trust again, the defenses come up and vulnerability feels alien :( your feelings are valid and it's ok to take time with them

hugs <3

User Profile: GoingWithGrace
GoingWithGrace June 10th, 2023

@neatBlueberry5213

Ouch.. that's hurtful 😞 I'm sorry that happened to you

User Profile: EmpathicPikachu
EmpathicPikachu June 11th, 2023

I am sorry for what you're going through.


If I were you, I'd try to take it easy on myself. Remember the time when you listened to your friend and paid attention to her. Any relation which lasts for 8 years realistically can't be forced one.


I think it is your friend who needs to grow as a person to be able to express her feelings to you. We keep changing with time. Recently my best friend got married and even though I miss our friendship, I still feel it was important for me to grow since I don't make friends easily. Now I've made some good friends but I still rely on myself the most.


So, there is an opportunity for your growth as well. Maybe you'll learn new things about yourself. Try to challenge yourself and see where it leads you.


Happy growing!

User Profile: hopefulPond6108
hopefulPond6108 June 11th, 2023

@neatBlueberry5213 That’s so messed up that your friend did that to you.