Trusting people, relationships, opening up
Hello everyone readingI am new here. I was diagnosed Bipolar (type not specified) about 15 years ago but i chose to ignore the diagnosis and to be treated for depression as i thought it was less embarrassing. I have moved to live to a different country 7 years ago. Had my family and a great job. 3 years ago I got manic out of nowhere as i thought. I do understand now that at that time i was working 15 hrs per day 6-7 days per week, not sleeping much and graduating from 2 colleges on adition to bachelors I already had.What happened was I started to believe that i was watched by some religious cult which was trying to get me in. I was never religious and grew up in non religious family. I believed that i somehow put my child at risk and that we were ment to be killed. To cut the story short, ended up with psichiatrist diagnosing Bipolar 1. Then i was put on mood stabilizers ( not sure if i can name them) plus antipsychotics plus antidepressants. I am an educator so i believed it my duty to be open about my diagnosis to help end the stigma.Little did I know. Once i was told that people like me should be locked out. But tbh that wasn't the worst discrimination i have experienced.Once i told my management that i have Bipolar, i was put onto a 'caring' mode. I started to receive less tasks, i was asked if 4 hours per day answering the phone (i worked in one of the biggest hospitals in a capital city) would be a 'better' option for me etc. And that's all after i worked on a project that won a tender worth millions of euros for 2 years. I had another breakdown with voice loss for 2 months. So i left that job...I have moved back to my home country 2 months ago. New psychiatrist resulted in new medication cocktail, dose adjustment etc. which ended up with another mania and psychosis. I am receiving antipsychotics for 7 days now.What i found the most difficult os connecting to people. Do I tell? I do receive joking comments as omg you are so weird/strange etc. Do i explain myself? I have isolated myself a lot recently. Moving countries has contributed to that as well. I am in the position of building new relationships, meeting new people which i FEAR now. If anyone has any similar experience please share.Thank you loads in advance
@limegreenMoon1147
Depressed patients often show negative symptoms such as low mood, low self-evaluation, inferior to others, and not being able to do anything well. These feelings lead them to lack interest, withdraw when encountering problems, reduce social activities, and close themselves, which makes the depressed person in the In a vicious circle, self-symptoms are continuously strengthened. The premise of changing this vicious circle is to force yourself to go out, contact more friends, participate in social activities or travel. Although it will be painful at first, as long as you persist for a period of time, the negative emotions will be slowly melted away by the external environment. , your self-confidence will be rekindled.
