Where to turn When you don't know Where to turn

Hi. 1st time seeking any kind of therapy, and I feel that it's long overdue.

I'm almost 38 years old. My 21 year career went to the gutter because of Covid. I pursued work over relationships until 2020, and then during the pandemic, a good friend (30yo)and I started traveling together and within 6 months bought a home together 3,000 miles away.

Going from single to most of my life to being in a relationship, I see a lot of faults that I have. The main one is anxiety around other people. I am the type of person who can be drained by people who are Emotional Vampires, who are Drama Queens, and who are Extra Extra Center of Attention grabbers. I used to enjoy going out and hanging out at the bar for trivia or bingo, or just to shoot the shit. Lately, it's been a mental chore for me to prepare for an evening out when other people are around. I tell myself "tonight's going to suck! Just grin and bear it" before evening giving the evening a chance.

From being a career driven female in a male dominated industry and the industry screeching to a hault, I have found it difficult for me to get my wheels of ambition started again. I always allowed my work ethic to speak for me, but have noticed that verbally I've become bitter and therefore silent, as to not be a Bitter Bitty. I find that I'm second guessing any successes before even applying effort in the 1st place. I.E. I'll never be hired because I don't have experience in XYZ.

My SO is very supportive both mentally and financially, but has also given me the long term ultimatum that if I don't become more confident in myself he will ultimately leave me. When I have my mentally rough days I feel like there's nowhere to turn, Noone to talk to and no end in site.

TLDR: How do you pull yourself out of your own head to be able to work toward a goal and not tell yourself you're failing / a failure before you start?